How big of fans of marriage do nontheists in general tend to be?

After carefully reviewing California’s Battery, Domestic Violence, & Rape statutes, I have discovered that if I get married and my wife throws me in the doghouse for longer than I think I deserve to be in there, she can actually criminalize me. I will NEVER have the thousands of American dollars that divorce costs. Getting married in Orange County, California is quite INexpensive: $28 for a non-sectarian civil ceremony at the Clerk-Recorder’s office. But divorce, as it does anywhere, costs THOUSANDS.

Years ago I used to attend local atheist meetings in my area. There, it was like everyone was married except me, widows, & widowers. (Most of the other attendees were ages 60-74). So if I seek a partner who admits her nontheism freely, is she less likely to demand marriage than a Christian woman?

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Permalink Reply by Bertold Brautigan on November 2, 2016 at 4:48pm

I have seen no data, but I would doubt there’s much of a correlation between rejecting superstition and embracing or rejecting marriage. (As Oscar Wilde once noted, marriage and bigamy are much the same thing – both mean having one wife too many.)

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on November 2, 2016 at 5:50pm

I don’t know about other atheist women, but I know that when I was married and had young children, there were no institutions that would stand up for the children or me when we were knocked around, had black eyes and broken bones. The family expected me to stay and take it. The doctors gave me sedatives, the psychiatrists focused on teaching me how to not “rile” my husband, the religious community expected me to obey and submit and if I didn’t I had a beating coming and so did the kids.

That is no longer true.

However, that said, I am not into marriage because I found it do stifling, I don’t want to ever do that again. If you want to meet a woman of the right age, get on the internet and let your desires be known. They will surely come to such a smart guy as you. And they might even be fun partners.

Permalink Reply by Daniel W on November 2, 2016 at 9:29pm

From what I’ve seen, most atheists have a “whatever works for you” attitude about marriage. The institution does give rights and obligations important to some, but not all. Since there is no god telling you what to do, it’s between you and your partner. I suspect atheists are more open to informal arrangements, than theists. On the other hand, I’ve known plenty of christians who think the bible rules are for other people, not them.

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on November 2, 2016 at 10:13pm

“ I’ve known plenty of christians who think the bible rules are for other people, not them.”

Oh! so true!

Permalink Reply by Michael Penn on November 3, 2016 at 7:20am

I have no data but I think marriage is pretty much universal. Just because you want to find a woman who is a non-believer does not assure you that she will not divorce you. Research the concept of common law also as that does not apply in every state.

I am currently doing my own divorce and it will cost me $225 for a filing fee. I have agreed to give my wife $15,000 and some tell me I can fight that with an attorney. How right they are. The attorney would then announce that he has her agreeing to $10,000 and all will be fine once I pay him his $5,000 fee. No thanks. I love my wife more than the attorney.

Other idiots tell me often that she is not my wife because it’s going on 3 years that we have not lived together. Of course, what they are referring to is the fact that we are not having sex. Try using that excuse if I suddenly died and she would legally inherit. It won’t work. People just want to devil you in some way.

In your search for a significant other remember that 2 can live as cheaply as one if one of them does not eat. Good luck.

Permalink Reply by Jerry Wesner on November 3, 2016 at 11:14pm

You look young in your picture. A young woman might have been cutting out wedding dress pictures since she was eight, and not want to give up the opportunity to use one. But then,a younger atheistic woman might not have bought in to the mystic expectations of a perfect wedding followed by a perfect honeymoon. One way to find out? Ask.

Permalink Reply by Donald L. Engel on November 4, 2016 at 12:12am

My wife and I have been married 55 years. I’m an Atheist, and she describes herself as a Unitarian. But I have a question; You aren’t even married, and you’re already considering divorce costs. Why? I always thought people got married hoping it would last forever. You seem to be going on the theory that marriage is supposed to end in divorce. If that is your belief, why get married? Just live together until your tired of each other.

Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo on November 7, 2016 at 9:58pm

It sounds to me as though you are trying to get some free sex with a marriage license yet hesitate because of the cost of divorce.

Question, does anyone ring your bells? make our knees get wobbly? or someone you want to be with for the rest of your life?

Or, do you have sexual itches that need to be satisfied twice a week and you are trying to find someone to scratch that itch, and not wanting to make a commitment?

Or, do you want a sex partner that won’t take action if you hit her when she doesn’t do what you say?

Or, do you want be with a woman who is fully equal to you, someone who can talk through conflicts and problems, and you share mutual respect?

Decide what you want and then either go for the lady of the night or wait until the bells and whistles ring and you want to spend the rest of your life with her.

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