Greetings, Michelle! I see you haven't been active at Atheist Nexus since Feb. We have a new group where you might feel more at home. Please consider joining Hang With Friends , where we can share our stories and laugh, and discuss anything on our minds.
Per your blog post on realmc, I was reminded of an essay I wrote in 2002. It is painfully self indulgent but it hits on some of the same topics as your diary entry (you are really brave to post that!). Here is the link: http://ffrf.org/fttoday/2002/march02/conrow.php
Hey Michelle, I have been searching the groups for a recovering mormon gathering but haven't found one. Have you seen one? I think perhaps we should get one going. There seem to be a few of us ex-mo's in the Nexus and it is good to share the particular intricacies of extracting oneself from Mormonism. What do you think?
One more thing: I am technically still on the church records. I am not happy about this especially in light of the whole prop 8 fiasco. Still, my relationship with my parents matters more to me than taking a stand by having my name stricken from the records, so I have not taken any action on that front. I am not willing to break my mom's heart over it.
For a million different reasons my husband and I decided against children. That was tough for my family until I reached age 25. At that point they decided I was over the hill! Before the decision was made I used to wonder what would happen when I refused to have my children blessed. I figured that would be when the battles and hurt feelings would occur.
The most difficult point was when I got married. I was young (22) and while I was very sure of my decision and my life choices my parents thought I was making an eternal mistake. They acted as if I had a terminal disease brought on by my own actions. That was almost 17 years ago and I am still happily married to a good man. I don't know what my mom thinks in her heart of hearts but I know she is glad that I have a good match and am happy. (uh, here on earth at least! all bets are off in the afterlife. sigh)
Thanks! It's funny how much clearer everything is as soon as you remove the shroud of religion from your eyes. For me it happened one day about three years ago when I had recently returned from my mission. I just kind of woke up one day and realized that none of it made any sense. As soon as I had that thought, it took another year or so for me to come to grips with that realization. The best way I can describe that time, is that it was like waking up from a dream and trying to force yourself back to sleep. It never works. I could never get myself back into that mind-set after I had snapped out of it.
there were several factors that contributed to this epiphany, like evolution, broken promises that my autistic brother would be healed, and lack of DNA evidence for the BoM that contributed as well.
I finally came clean to the parents about it last year. My mom cried for two weeks practically non-stop. I was so worried for her sanity that I told her that I still held to some belief that there might be a God. That tided her over, and now I think she's gradually coming to grips with having her son be a heathen.