Christina Nichols's Comments

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At 11:32am on September 16, 2012, Ruth Anthony-Gardner said…

As moderator of Godless Grief, you might be interested in discussing the metaphor in this article with your group.

Pinball as a Model for Dealing With Grief

At 7:39pm on June 3, 2011, Ruth Anthony-Gardner said…

Greetings, Christina! I'd like to invite you to a group where we talk about anything on our minds, Hang With Friends. :D

At 10:06am on March 31, 2010, Dara said…
she is 5 1/2 now
At 10:51am on March 20, 2009, Shlarg said…
Howya been?
At 7:59pm on February 27, 2009, Beth said…
So sorry for your loss.
At 3:46pm on February 23, 2009, Greg Phillips said…
hugs to you :)

Greg
At 12:19pm on February 18, 2009, Shlarg said…
Aw :( I wish I was there to give you a big hug or a shoulder to cry on. That always seems to help me the most.
At 10:20am on February 18, 2009, Shlarg said…
Haven't talked to you in a while. How're you holding up?
At 7:08pm on February 15, 2009, Greg Phillips said…
Hi Christina

I guess I would say that if not a God, what root or cause would the paranormal experiences which you believe you have had come from?

I'm firmly in the camp that death is the end of us all, with the implication that if our lives are all we have, we are such rare and precious things in the Universe that we owe it to ourselves to experience every moment, remember those we have lost and carry their memories on with us. As for where you fit, our attitudes and perspectives change over time so who can say exactly how your world view will develop over the coming years.

You are naturally going to fear the worst for your son and daughter, as I said below I felt something similar when I lost my brother and I think it is common for those of us who are bereaved to feel like this. I really hope you can get through this and that talking to people on AN will help in some small way.

Greg
At 4:58pm on February 15, 2009, Greg Phillips said…
Hey Christina

I am sorry it has taken me a few days to pop by and try and offer you some comfort in your time of loss.

There is nothing I can say that will really have any meaning for you right now, other than to say you are amongst friends and you can rest assured that we here all have our heads firmly screwed on, rather than shoved up one anothers asses like 99.99% of the church going delusionals you are swamped by.

I lost my brother three years ago to cancer, and it took me probably 18 months to get over the feeling that everyone i loved was going to die on me and to start to open up again emotionally - its an awful experience and it must be 1000 times worse in your situation, but time is a great healer you can be sure of that, even if it does not seem like it now.

Any time you need to vent or just chat do it here and I am sure the community will try and keep you grounded and supported. I know I will :)

Thinking of you.

Greg
At 11:38am on February 15, 2009, Czarina said…
shlarg, who i don't really know yet, but seems to have taken the role of terrificly generous meeter-and-greeter, asked those on his friends' list to visit you.

i have lost a parent, but never a child.
the suggestions of the godless grief groups which are available; and especially the empowering act of starting one yourself, seem eminiently sound to me.

i suspect it will take time, a lot of pain, and a lot of human support to walk through this.
there's no other way than experiencing the feelings, excruciating as they must be; to get relief.

dismiss the god-squad's absurd bromides; no doubt they mean very, very well.
but it's their inability to face agonizing pain that compel them to mouth such meaningless words.

by being here, and reaching out, you are clearly starting the journey to healing yourself.
At 7:41am on February 14, 2009, Margaret Downey said…
I am so sorry for your loss. May I recommend that you reach out to my friend CJ? She runs a support group called "Godless Grief." Here is her email:
gimpyratcat@gmail.com
At 6:59pm on February 13, 2009, John said…
Hey Christina, you found the right place if you want to connect with openly compassionate people that won't try and comfort you with fairy tales. I am so sorry for your loss. It is a tragedy to lose someone you love, especially a child. I could not imagine what you feel, but I can offer some words of relief.....my way.

I am not into reincarnation or anything, but I believe that the things we are as humans, the simple elements of the universe, return to the universe and the energy we are as living beings becomes a part of the cosmic harmony. I'm not going to tell you any god stories or tell you it is the "will of god", etc...etc... or any other nonsense. All I know is that when we pass, we in some way join the else and become one with the magnificent infinity.

We have no control over the death of others, but we can take in the joy of knowing that they are at peace, they feel no pain or fear and who they were lives forever etched in time.

My most sincere love and sympathy is extended to you....may peace be with you.
At 6:10pm on February 13, 2009, Wanda Wilson said…
Hi Christina,
I can't possibly understand what you're going through and hope I never have to find out firsthand what hell it must be (I have 18 and 16 year old sons - the loss of either is unimaginable). For what its worth, you and yours have my sincere and deepest sympathies.

I think Kristy has said it perfectly. Keeping alive and passing on to others who and what he was, today and in future, is a wonderful way to find some measure comfort and continue to enjoy life. And BRAVO for starting the Godless Greif group - there really can be strength in numbers, and you given others a place to begin to find their strength again.

Hugs and sympathies from Canada,
Wanda Wilson
At 5:02pm on February 13, 2009, Chrys Stevenson said…
Welcome to Atheist Nexus Christina. I'm Kris from Australia. I am so sorry for your terrible loss. I'd like to share with you how our family dealt with my father's death many years ago. We laughed. We remembered him with such joy. We laughed at all the funny things he said and all the silly things he did. If something happened, to which he would have responded with a familiar phrase, we'd repeat it for him.

We say, "Norm would have loved this ...." without any sense of loss now. It's a way of including his memory into present events. We know if he still lived our house would be groaning under the weight of the latest computers, plasma television, x-boxes, wii's, blackberries, and surround sound systems!!!! Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster he didn't live to see the technological age in full flight - we'd be stony broke!

As atheists we don't hold a belief in the hereafter. But our loved ones remain very much 'alive' through our memories. It is our responsibility to keep those memories joyful and not bury them in grief. That way, we can pass on the memory of our lost loved one down the generations as a real, three dimensional, joyous human being - not some dusty faded memory of a life piously grieved. With biggest, warmest hugs, Kris
At 11:57am on February 13, 2009, Evilgenius20 said…
Welcome to the Nexus Christina, sorry for your loss.
At 11:30am on February 13, 2009, Dara said…
she is ok...she went through 6 rounds of chemo and a stem cell transplant she finally finished it all and came home thet December but this dec they found another tumor,,,,,so far it hasnt grown so the docs are pretty sure it isnt cancer again but they are keeping a close eye on it with MRIs every 8 weeks
At 11:12am on February 13, 2009, Dara said…
BTW my myspace is www.myspace.com/daradd
At 11:10am on February 13, 2009, Dara said…
I lost my husband 3 years ago and I can tell you nothing anyone says will really make you feel better, there isnt a majic word but knowing people cared and were there for me to talk to if I needed it was comforting.I understand where you are coming from when people say things like that.My husband had cancer,he was diagnosed 10/05 and passed away 5/06 a month before he passed away our 22 month old was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor.I was so sick of people telling me god did things for a reason, that when he closed 1 door he opened another, that he didnt give us more than we could handle becuase that was all BS.I am here for you anytime and I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you are feeling.I am deeply grateful to you child for defending us and our country,it seems inpossible now to imagine a time when you wont feel like a walking open wound but it will come,,I dont remember how far out from his passing it was but one day I realized I was able to look back at memories and enjoy them and smile with out crying and that was a wonderful day, I felt like I had gotten a part of him back to be able to enjoy the memories.
At 10:15am on February 13, 2009, Kostas said…
i cant find any words to say right now, i can only say that what you are expiriencing now is such a tragic event that no one should ever expirience

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