Atoms, molecules, and cells;
Skin and bone and organs...
Conscoiusness, thoughts, and emotions? I am feeling and moving and trembling.
Thoughts of everything and nothing floating about my mind; jumbled and mixed together, like a puzzle that is never quite solved. A jigsaw in my head, screaming to fit together, longing for its proper place.
Darkness encroaching on the light, making happiness meaningless yet glamorous. Unattainable solace just out of reach in the company of comfort. Yet they snicker, the two. Wicked they are, solace and comfort, never quite able to grasp them. Fortunate though not to. They never stay long and leave you empty....without meaning.
Loathing and apathy I know quite well. We walk hand in hand. Pain and despair always around the corner, ready to join at a moments notice. My thoughtless mind welcomes the warmth they bring, evil though they are, the unrighteous foursome...and me.
Distracted by my body, your body, his, hers....every. It's just biological, chemistry in the brain....It's only natural, all natural, yet without purpose. Cleverly constructed distractions. No sentience and no sapience. No intrinsic properties or qualities; nothingness. Fleeting distractions they are. Holding my mind hostage for a time, then letting go, slipping away into the inky blackness.
My jaded world, my sick world, my meaningless world. Tentatively I embrace thee, take my hand; we will jump together.