My sister met the guy of her dreams. I'm so happy for her it's not even funny! He's really a great guy, he compliments her personality perfectly, has a good soul, a giving person. They have this doe-eyed glee when they look into each other's eyes!

I have to admit, I'm a bit jealous of her. I've been trying for quite sometime, and I don't even have a bf! I'm starting to think I'm a bit difficult. I even had a date recently that told me that I was "too smart" for him?!? I'm not going to be egotistical and say "because I was too independent" or really actually believe that I'm too intelligent, but I think there must be something I'm doing wrong in not attracting the right guy...

Despite never being in love with anybody in my life, I'm not going to give up on it. I wholeheartedly believe its there is my soulmate out there! I'm in no quickie to find a husband or pop 9 kids anytime soon, but I do eventually want someone to grow old with! I don't think I'll ever give up on being a hopeless romantic!

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Comment by David Miller on November 11, 2009 at 3:15pm
Hey Jen, if he says you're too smart for him you probably are. More importantly there's nothing wrong with that, having a similar level of intelligence is one of the keys to successful relationships. If I could offer you some friendly advice I would tell you this: the most important thing in looking for a good relationship is to get to the point where you are no longer hunting for it. I believe love is highly illusive and if it thinks it's being stalked will bolt. If you work to improve your life and thus gain confidence in yourself and what you're doing, you'll naturally find yourself in positions to meet people who you are compatible with and who'll be attracted to you for who you are.
Wait for the water to boil and it takes forever. Turn on the heat and go about your business and it'll be boiling before you know it. Hang in there!
Comment by Caine on October 25, 2009 at 6:46pm
Try living in Houston, TX, lol.
Even if I DO find a non-bleached-blonde-dippy-"I like to giggle and act dumb because then men won't be threatened by me and they'll think the stupidity is cute"-sorority girl they almost inevitably turn out to be extremely Christian or racist, or excessively conservative.

FYI if anyone here disagrees and feels there are conclaves of intelligent, single, rational, cute (of course) girls in droves around here; kindly point me to the correct nook. I'd love to be proven wrong. Lol

Best of luck, at least in NY you have a bit better of a shot I'd hope ;)
Comment by Chris G on September 27, 2009 at 9:56pm
If you have never been in love then you haven't experienced life.

A book I read a long time ago called BRIEF ENCOUNTERS said that it's OK to talk to a stranger on a bus. That's the only way you'll meet someone who is interesting. Especially if you live in a cloister.

Here in Napa, I'm trying to get out more so I can meet interesting people.
The way I think about it is if I met 1 interesting person in the day then it's a great day.

I no longer care about love. I've been through love and lost love, I just care about interesting people and the need to make friends.

Comment by Hector on September 22, 2009 at 12:27pm --- Click that Dre :-D
Comment by Dre Smith on September 22, 2009 at 12:06pm
Can't remember the last time his spare got out of the trunk...LMAO
Comment by A Former Member on September 22, 2009 at 11:49am
... and feel like a third wheel!

Third wheel? I'm more like the spare that never gets out of the trunk! :P
Comment by Jennifer W on September 22, 2009 at 11:44am
Thanks everyone for the kind remarks.

@Dallas: They must be insecure. I like getting to know people and their perspectives, I don't really care about class or perceived intelligence. Plus, I'm glad someone sees the difference of being a hopeless romantic and being naive.

@Dre: I can relate Dre, its like when a group of people are talking about their kids and stuff, and I quickly have to zone out or change the subject. It gets frustrating when you see everyone paired, and feel like a third wheel! As for the dating side, everyone has issues, at least you are seeing it early instead of being in a 9 year marriage.
Comment by Dre Smith on September 22, 2009 at 10:26am
Sometimes I find myself just saying to hell with the whole dating thing. Every woman I seem to encounter has "issues" when it comes to intimacy, or her ex, or her parents, or something that is just way to much baggage for me to try and help carry. I'll be 26 next month and I'm in the group (you know where you are the last of your single friends and everyone is either talking about marriage and kids or is already there), and it's just absolutely never racking.
Comment by A Former Member on September 21, 2009 at 12:46pm
Jennifer, I am the same way. There is a part of me that is a hopeless romantic. I want to love and be loved. I want affection, attention, acceptance, and I want to give those things in return. And another part of me has given up on it completely, as it seems that that is just too much of an ideal to ask from people, or to at least to ask for me.

I empathize, but I have a lot of mixed feelings about whether or not such romanticized emotions are healthy or not. It's hard to say. But it is a very human emotion and need.

You're lucky as you are still young and really cute, so that works in your favor. I'm not at all suprised that guy said you were too smart for him. I think it has to do with insecurity on his part. I've had guys who were just looking for friendship, not romance, tell me they didn't want to meet me cuz I was too smart for them. I don't get that. Why should that matter? I don't make friends pass an IQ test before I try to get to know them. Sure, some people are just idiots, and smart/intelligent/thoughtful people will not normally gravitate to those types, but to tell someone they are too smart to be a friend or date is just silly.

Oh well, don't give up. Like I said, you're young and cute. You still have a lot of time to try and find that right guy.
Comment by Dre Smith on September 21, 2009 at 11:46am
I can honestly say I feel your pain. Being single can be at times a downer but unfortunately there is nothing we can do but keep up hope in that we will eventually find someone that matches ourselves. I can very much understand the jealousy sucks to watch someone else in love. "Too intelligent"...if only I could find such a woman myself.

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