It didn't take long for newly-minted Spanish cardinal Fernando Aguilar, who will officially receive his red cap from the famously liberal and gay friendly Pope Francis next month, to weigh in on homosexuality. His Eminence tells us that gays are defective. Specifically, we are defective in the way in which we manifest our sexuality. The defect in question is that same-sex sex does not result in babies.

Somehow, "defective" does seem to sound marginally better than "disordered", which is how the Church has characterized us in other pronouncements. And it beats imprisonment, torture, or execution, which were popular Christian options for centuries. Now the Church allows us to get away with just being disordered. Or defective. And discriminated against and occasionally getting the shit kicked out of us. So it's not like there hasn't been progress.

And Aguilar does not withhold hope. He assures us that our defect is fixable and furthermore he informs us that we shouldn't be offended by his pointing all this out to us. To illustrate this he draws a parallel with his own "defect". His Eminence suffers from high blood pressure and he's not embarrassed to say so (say it now and say it loud. I'm hypertensive and I'm proud).

And he tells us that his "defect" responds favorably to treatment. So too, he says, will the defect of homosexuality respond to treatment although he doesn't specify exactly what treatment will take away my lifelong orientation toward guys and get me wanting to find a good woman and make babies.

It sounds like Aguilar's knowledge of homosexuality is pretty much at the same level as that of the Bronze Age tribesmen who wrote his holy book. Seems to me that if Aguilar is comfortable with the Biblical approach to homosexuality he should be equally good with the Biblical approach to hypertension, which is that he should ignore it. Since the Bible makes no mention of it, God clearly didn't see it as something with which we should concern ourselves. So toss those pills, my lord cardinal. It's the Biblical thing to do.

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Comment by Pat on February 8, 2014 at 7:19am

I wonder how the 'ole cardinal would do with Hansen's Disease (leprosy). The bible says the sure cure is to kill a dove and wash the walls of the house with its blood. So much for modern anti-biotics. Here's another. When doing construction, don't use pi to calculate the circumference of a circle, but use the number 3.0. That's how Noah built that Caribbean cruise ship in Exodus. The inerrant and perfect word of god. Soitenly! Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk! 

Comment by Grinning Cat on February 8, 2014 at 2:54am

Riiiiiight, like this overloaded planet needs even more couples being fruitful and multiplying and multiplying and multiplying. Even straight and bi folks in opposite-gender couplings -- including an overwhelming majority of Roman Catholics! -- make use of 20th- and 21st-century technology to separate the incredible bonding and pleasure of sex, a Good Thing in itself, from making babies.

(And don't get me started on the grave immorality of condemning the use of condoms in the face of HIV/AIDS, putting a twisted sexual ethic above human beings' actual lives and deaths.)

I read a short story -- wish I remember the title and author! -- of a dystopic future America where the dominant church, an extrapolation of the RCC, takes the "obligation" to procreate and the "right" to be conceived to an extreme. Since there aren't enough resources to raise "freeloaders" who won't grow up to make more babies in their turn, all newborn babies are tested for their fertility potential, and those that fail are given the Sacrament of Terminal Baptism. (No worries, their souls go directly to heaven. Funny that the parents aren't so happy about it.) One priest who's been doing this discovers a conscience....

Comment by Loren Miller on January 26, 2014 at 12:07pm

If this schmuck wants to declare that homosexuality is "fixable," he better be prepared with treatments which have been vetted and peer-reviewed, with demonstrable and repeatable results ... which of course, he doesn't have.  If 'Nando wants to assert that prayer will do the job, he should expect uncontrolled laughter as a response.

Oh, and you might ask him how curing people of being left-handed worked out?  The RCC tried that once, too - didn't pan out so well.

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