Comment by Kimberlee Williams on May 30, 2011 at 5:51pm

You're right...all of those work.  thanks.

Comment by Sentient Biped on May 30, 2011 at 7:26pm

You're right.  Bad things do happen to us.  Prayer doesn't work.  If you have someone who you love, just being close to them can help.   Sometimes venting can help, and sometimes the internet is a place to vent (like here).  My dog is my best solace, better than my human companion.  He knows when I feel bad and he stays close when that happens.

 

Sometimes it helps to build a community of like-minded people.  If there is nothing local, Unitarian fellowships are a route that some use.  You don't have to beleive in gods to be Unitarian.  I did that for a while, but I'm too antireligious for it now, and some of the fellowships are too woo-woo or mimic religion, so I quit.  Every UU fellowship is different, though, so it might be an option.

 

When someone dies, I like to plant a tree.  For some reason it gives me comfort. 

 

Good luck to you Kimberlee.

Comment by Norma Lee on May 30, 2011 at 11:50pm

The only thing that can help is believing men have to solve our problems. And they can, if they will. I believe in scientists. When a man pulls the kids out of the bus, don't thank god, thank the man. Men do have the natural ability to do good without having to be heroes. I feel hopeless when people pray because it is helpless. When your eyes are open you have to believe man can do it. It's hard today but they are there if you can see it. My god, when the boy drowns in the river and mom says god needed him in heaven, oh my god. What about life jackets and the wisdom to know the water is too fast and cold. Things happen for human reasons. sometimes stupid reasons and it is our fault. This weather is beyond our control because of global warming. Overpopulation is the cause for our problems and that is something we can do something about if we will allow ourselves to know it. I mean you are not alone and can ask for help from your fellow man.

Comment by Norma Lee on May 31, 2011 at 12:12am

When my son was killed in an accident I couldn't comprehend it. When people die I just couldn't understand it. I have finally made peace with the idea that they are just dead and what is important is the time we have and hopefully we were happy and shared our happiness with those we love and maybe we leave good memories and maybe made this a better world.

Comment by Kimberlee Williams on May 31, 2011 at 8:48pm

All of you are so right!!!  I have spoken with several friends that have helped me deal with this.  It will take time to get thru it and heal....but I will be okay with the help of my fellow man and this community.  I wish I had a pet to talk to right now.  I love you all and thanks for the advice.  If you've ever been thru a separation...I would love to hear your advice.

Comment by Samantha B on May 31, 2011 at 10:38pm

Kimberlee - I have been there.  It's a terrible feeling.  Do you write at all?  I found journaling to be very helpful for me when I was hurting the most.  I didn't have anyone to talk to, so writing was very cathartic for me.  But then, I've always loved to write.  I think in addition to talking to friends (if you have some who will truly listen and understand), find something that you love to do and are passionate about.  For me it was primarily writing, music, and books.  I understand being tempted to pray.  That's what we were taught to do in our darkest hour, and old habits die hard.  Send me a message, I'm happy to lend an ear if you need one.

Comment by Kimberlee Williams on June 6, 2011 at 9:06am

Thank you samantha...I do write.  I guess I should do it more.  I am passionate about dancing and music so maybe I should hop on that too.  Thanks for the listening ear.  Please inbox me your story.  I look forward to hearing from you.

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