This is from my site which can be found at www.themaverickjester.com

There are some news stories that if you didn’t laugh about your head would explode. Last week Kentucky Governor Steven L. Beshear announced plans to build a Noah’s Ark Theme Park. According to the New York Times, ”The state has promised generous tax incentives to a group of entrepreneurs who plan to construct a full-size replica of Noah’s ark, load it with animals and actors, and make it the centerpiece of a Bible-based tourist attraction called Ark Encounter.”

Brushing aside questions about the pesky First Amendment, Beshear explained that his goal is to bring jobs to his state. Why he couldn’t do that with a nonreligious theme park was apparently not a question that he was asked.

The park will include rides and special effects. I wonder if the visitors will be included in a reenactment of god shutting the door of the ark, thereby drowning most of mankind. Of course, it would be difficult to have repeat visitors if you kill them all. Perhaps the park administers will only water board everyone, thereby allowing everyone to experience what it must have been like for an entire population to drown. Maybe there will be sound effects of parents screaming as they watch their young children die or a video of pregnant women slowly drowning to death as they beat frantically on the ark. Because you know, nothing says a loving god like destroying most of humanity.

“We think that God would probably have sent healthy juvenile-sized animals that weren’t fully grown yet, so there would be plenty of room,” said Mr. Zovath, a retired Army lieutenant colonel heading the ark project. “We want to show how Noah would have taken care of them, taken care of waste management, taken care of water needs and food needs.”

This got me thinking, what if the flood story was true? How would that work logistically? Noah had a combination of carnivores and herbivores on his ship. Why wouldn’t the predators eat the other animals? I am sure that the lions wouldn’t contently watch the antelope prance up and down the ship’s aisle. Of course, god could have changed the carnivores digestive systems so that they could subsist on a diet of grass and hay, but that seems a bit extreme

Maybe god explained how solar energy worked. Noah and his sons might have bolted solar panels to the animals so that instead of food the creatures would have existed on sunlight. The tiger pair might have laid around on deck, basking in the golden afternoon light. What a pretty picture. Of course, with a giant solar panel bolted into their spinal columns, the carnivores couldn’t do much more then lay around, could they? Wait! We are talking about an all powerful, all knowing deity here. God could have simply given the predators the temporary ability to receive their energy through photosynthesis, removing any need for heavy solar panels. The tiger pair might have still longed on the deck but they would have been green due to the chloroplasts in their hair follicles.

Then again, all the animals might have been in a deep hibernation. In which case, Noah could have stacked them on one another like the metal chairs that some schools use. Hopefully he put the smallest animals on the top. Perhaps that is the real reason that some of the animals went extinct, Noah placed them under larger animals and they died of suffocation.

Hopefully the theme park will explain how a perfect being, as the Christian god is described to be, would experience emotions like anger. Or how a supreme being who knows everything, including the future, would regret destroying mankind. Wouldn’t god know ahead of time that he will be sorry about flooding the world and not kill everyone? The rainbow seems like a pretty sucky consolation gift, doesn’t it?

The object of my snarky post is not the majority of Christians, many of who accept evolution as fact and manage to find truth in the Genesis stories without believing that they are literally true. It isn’t even those who believe in a literal biblical creation account but still accept the separation of church and state. Instead, it is those who want to build a giant, probably tacky, theme park using tax incentives that offend me. And really, when you consider that a main tenet of Christianity is being humble and caring for the poor, don’t you think that loyal Christians should be the most offended by this high priced monstrosity?

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Tags: Ark, Beshear, Christian, Kentucky, Noah's, Park, Theme, bible, incentives, snarky, More…tax, taxes

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