Okay, have you ever had a person that was so arrogant and up his own ass that he can't even admit that he is the one at fault?

I've been friends with this guy for almost five years now and in the past year or so he has turned into the kind of guy to ditch me for other people, even when we have plans to do things, or I needed his help with something. I have caught him in his lies so many times It is ridiculous.

I recently got fed up with him and I started ignoring him. He finally asked me what was going on and I blew up in his face. From that point on he has done nothing but slander me to people he and I both know. I recently confronted him about it and he had nothing to say but that I was wrong and that these things were not said, even though I had his written proof from e-mails he had made. He then told me that he's got better people to be around, though they are the kind who have fueled his drug and drinking addiction farther.

the saddest part is the brotherly attachment I had with this guy, and how quickly he threw it away. It's wonderful how insensitive people can act when it doesn't benefit them in any way to act for the good of someone else.

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Comment by A Former Member on January 12, 2009 at 7:59am
Sorry this has happened to you. I've had many similar experiences, but not quite as confrontational as yours. I've been a good friend to many people, who in turn abandoned me, ignored me, or rejected me. It is hard, so I really empathize with you.
Comment by sunshinegirlie on January 11, 2009 at 4:48pm
I recently had the same thing happen with a friend I've known for 14 years. There comes a time when you realize that people who aren't real friends have no place in your life. I did the same thing and ignored her, too. I should have told what was up, but I hate confrontation. I finally told her what was going on. It hurts to close a chapter of your life, but this person is not someone you need to be around. These people only bring you down. Maybe if he gets sober, you could let him back in. Good luck!
Comment by raequel aka systris on January 11, 2009 at 10:28am
i definately feel your pain. and i dont blame you for 'blowing up' at him because this anger and resentment toward his behavior had been building. i guess in hindsight you should have called him on his sh-t a lot sooner, but you were willing to give him chance after chance to redeem himself. obviously this dude was NEVER A GOOD FRIEND, so do your mourning and move on. he is the one who didnt want to make the effort to be a good friend to you, and all this slandering is his way of justifiying his behavior. his addiction may be part of the reason he's been a dick but its not the whole reason. i hope that you find a brother-mentor-friend that is worth your time. also, if anyone believes his bullsh-t without at least considering your side of the story, they aint worth crap either. much love to you.
Comment by River Otter on January 11, 2009 at 7:56am
Hi Brandon,

I am sorry to hear that you have lost your friend. Though I must admit, it sounds like it isn't a real big loss.

I could be wrong about this, but if your friend has an addiction, his behavoir is explained, especially if you don't participate in the drug / alcohol thing. I would leave him alone and wouldn't worry about what he is saying.

Usually, "blowing up" at someone isn't effective. When there is a problem to be worked out you must use your brain, not your emotions.

It should have been YOU telling him that you have better people to hang with. You don't need to waste your time being lied to or being stood up. This can be done in a calm, rational way. If your friend wants to get bent out of shape then end the conversation there, don't fuel it.

Just my thought on that. Now, ignore his fickle bullshit, there are better people then that out there. Take care and choose your friends wisely. :)

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