Attention Men!

If you think about “the game” excessively after it’s over, think you’re an expert on your sport when really you’re just a big fan, start arguments and discuss theories with other like minded men, explain rules and situations from your game to people who have absolutely no interest in sports, I just want you to know, YOU’RE A FUCKING NERD!

I’m fucking sick of all these sport geeks babbling constantly about football players, or golf or some other boring arse game, like they’re tough men’s men, when to me you’re worse then the most talkative trekkie. Why is it okay for any man, friend or stranger, to come up to me and question me out of nowhere about their favourite sport? Because I’m a man I must also love that specific game too, right? The worst thing about these questions is they’re meant to be friendly conversation starters, but really they’re just some unsubtle nerd who can’t wait to tell you what they think. And what they think is usually regurgitated insights from some sports talk show or some dude down the pub, some rehearsed little tirade all meant to make them look like a rugby genius.

If I went up to some random guy and asked him, “Which is a better series, Buffy or Angel?” and he says he doesn’t like the show, has barley even seen one episode, and I went on to explain in depth why Angel is better, I would be considered a pushy geek, would be ridiculed, and I would be wrong to not be embarrassed. But the same conversation about two football teams and it‘s just guy talk, right? The other guy should be embarrassed for not knowing what I was talking about, right?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve nothing against nerds or geeks or whatever, I’ve been one for years. My problem is that sport nerds think everyone likes sport as much as them, and think it’s cool and even masculine to go around gossiping about it like old women. Your not cool, you’re a tiresome bore. Dr Who nerds would bore me too, but they don’t insist on talking to me about it.

While I’m at it, car nerds can go fuck themselves too, because they’re getting just as bad! I get it, girls like cars, but when you go around talking about engines and telling me what Jeremy Clarkson thinks, you’re not being cool. Seriously, that’s some excruciatingly boring shit your spouting, so stop calling yourselves “Revheads” or “Petrolheads,”  you fucking child.

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Comment by Idaho Spud on April 29, 2012 at 2:32pm

I'm another male that doesn't enjoy sports.  That is, I don't enjoy watching.  I could enjoy playing some if I found a group that were at my level (beginner), but good luck with that!

I like table games like billiards, ping-pong, and card games, but again, I'm just a beginner, so it's hard to find people to play with on my level.  I like chess, and I'm a little above a beginner, but still hard to find any peers.

I'm mostly a beginner at most sports and games because I didn't learn them as a youngster.  One reason was because my wonderful dad was so busy supporting us that he didn't play them with us.

Comment by Charles on April 29, 2012 at 2:14pm

I'm a man that hasn't really ever enjoyed sports.Just being a guy others assume that I like them.

Comment by Steph S. on April 28, 2012 at 9:28pm

That is true not all men like sports .. I know some that don't.

You have some interesting blogs on here. I think I'll take a look.

Comment by Stuart M Rees on April 28, 2012 at 7:00pm

I didn't intend to imply that enjoying sport is wrong or that I dislike sport completely, I was just pointing out that it's annoying ubber fans have no restriction in sharing everything they can think to say on the topic, in a way annoying ubber fans of other things simply don't have. Yet one is called nerd and the other is not.

Imagine you're in the pub with a good friend, you have lots to talk about. Then a friend of your friend joins you, and all they talk about is a movie franchise you haven't seen (your not even that keen on the whole genre), and suddennly you're the third wheel. This is how I feel everytime guys do the sport thing, it's like an alien language to me. And the worst part is, that movie talk incedent will happen once or twice, but SPORTS NEVER END. I just constant talk about something I just don't get.

Also I did mention rugby. I kinda like the six nations, but don't watch it religously. When I see a game where Wales beats England I'll admit it feels great, but about half hour later I'll probably never talk about it again, because I don't really care.

Comment by Ted Foureagles on April 28, 2012 at 2:41pm

Sport is about expressing ourselves in the idiom of cultural icon, and just just finding something the fuck to talk about when we have nothing particular to say.  I give a flying flip about American football -- find it repusive in fact -- but followed several sad seasons of the Denver Broncos because it was a fair excuse to drink with my friends.  We gave up on reserving rum shots just for when "Our Team" scored because the liquour was piling up and we were getting bored.  The whole deal was more enjoyable and blessedly less memorable once we started drinking to anything, like a changed camera angle or another commercial.

 

}}}}

Comment by Napoleon Bonaparte on April 28, 2012 at 11:21am

I agree.

However, I checked your profile and note that you are Welsh and haven't meantioned rugby in your blog, only football. It is generally thought that Welsh people know all about rugby. How do you feel when Wales beats England ? Are you hiding something like Gareth Thomas ?

I particularly hate the car culture. Fortunately I live in central London and don't have to participate in it. What's new and exciting about fossil-fuel burning machines ? Nothing !

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