No ya didn’t. Yes I did. Didn’t. Did!

When it comes to religion and silliness, nothing surprises me; at least I thought that was the case until a book I read hit me with “the self-authenticating witness of the Holy Spirit.” Say what? That’s right, “the self-authenticating witness of the Holy Spirit.” I thought all the arguments for the existence of God were in my possession, but it seems one slipped past me. Actually, it hadn’t slipped past me, someone thought putting a dress on a pig somehow turned it into a prom date and believed they could slip it past the security guard, but I know a porker when I smell one and this one has enough bacon on it for BLT’s into eternity

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It turns out that we have a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde scenario going as “the self-authenticating witness of the Holy Spirit” turns out to be nothing more than the “bare assertion” with some spiritual highfalutiness stuck to it trying to make it sound as if it makes sense. It is true because I say it is true and—“the Bible tells me so.” For many, the subtle changes in Christianity might go unnoticed, like trying to sneak science in the front door, while it pretends to be in accordance with scripture, with the most obvious examples being creation science and intelligent design, more pigs wearing formals. These phrases must come from the same committee that designed the horse and came up with a camel.

 

If the phrase “the self-authenticating witness of the Holy Spirit” came from a recent returnee from Alpha Centauri who just had his rectal probe removed, there might be knowing nod of the head and the statement, “I’ll see your Holy Spirit and raise you six Tribbles,” but this comes from a man with a Ph.D., a so-called scholar who should know any argument with a “bare assertion” as a proof point is dead on arrival. Perhaps, the man wasn’t a scholar, but a time traveler transported here by the Holy Spirit where he was “self-authenticated.” That’s all the proof I need.

 

Speaking of proof, a review of the Casey Anthony trial tapes might reveal that prosecutors used some version of the “take my word for it” theory as solid evidence. She said she didn’t do it and that’s enough authentication for me. By the way, who is handing out all these Bishop titles and Ph.D.’s? Okay, that’s another subject. Of course, if anyone can believe the Jonah was swallowed by a whale and lived to tell the story, perhaps, “the self-authenticating witness of the Holy Spirit” seems logical.

 

In the final analysis, “the self-authenticating witness of the Holy Spirit,” is nothing more than a defensive tool for Christians when they run out of evidence, which takes about as much time as draining the gasoline from a mosquito’s motor scooter. There is no such thing as a cockatrice and, aside from the words, there is no such thing as “the self-authenticating witness of the Holy Spirit.”

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Comment by alexa penzner on September 30, 2011 at 8:30pm

love it !!!   your mind roams all over the place -sensibly, of course. and you're funny - mosquito's motorcycle - LOL.  i'd love to talk to you . . .

     - alexa :]

Comment by Dakota Marquette on August 26, 2011 at 4:04pm

hmmm, interesting blog indeed! I hate to see the times when "bare assertion" and perception will legally hold up in court for justification of a crime. :)

Comment by roland707 on August 26, 2011 at 9:15am
Awesome
Comment by Daniel W on August 25, 2011 at 9:50pm
Your commentaries are the best ones on nexus.
Comment by Steph S. on August 25, 2011 at 7:58pm
Thanks for the email about your blog.  I enjoyed reading it.  Yeah and we all know how that Casey Anthony trial ended up -- the jury must of just taken her word for it. Yes, I know christians who use that excuse of "it's the holy spirit" as a defense.  Very nice blog.
Comment by alexa penzner on August 25, 2011 at 12:31pm
i guess unicorns only exist in my mind - sigh. . .

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