Never Smarten Up a Chump or Give a Sucker an Even Break

ME: The following came to me from a friend’s distribution list. It immediately pissed me off! Normally, I let such ignorance slide so as not to rock the boat, but it was a bad day in Muddville. I replied to “all.” A move that brought several scathing letters from so-called friends that I had taken a shot at their imaginary friends. I lost at least two “friends” on this one, but I figure that anyone that believes this crap is a risk to intelligence. Anyway, here is the joke, letter or whatever you want to call it that raised my level of pisstivity. See my response following the "joke."

THEM: Florida Court Sets Atheist Holy Day! Gotta love this Judge!

You must read this......a proper decision by the courts...for a change.

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY

In Florida , an atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case
dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays..."

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."

The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."

The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fool's Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool.

Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned..."

You gotta love a Judge that knows his scripture! This is too good not to forward!

ME: Rather Have a Judge That Knows the Law

Normally, I'd let this slide, but people feel too free to make fun of what they don't or won't understand. You are right it is too good not to forward because it is about the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard; plus, it is insulting to those that don't believe in magic, talking men in the sky, a flood that covered Mount Everest, that anyone except Alley Oop ever rode a dinosaur, that the world was created in 6 days and an all-powerful creator needed a break on the seventh, that a creator who stopped the sun couldn't stop a couple of planes from flying into the WTC towers. In my view of things, the invisible and non-existent look very similar. So, the next time you send something out like this remember that not all of us eat chicken, drink red soda water, vote Democrat, dance, play basketball or believe in God. It might be hard to believe, but not all blacks are enthralled with a Jewish man called Jesus whom they met during a quaint time called slavery. When God is the first and last answer, it is clear that the question was misunderstood. I am truly sorry that I don't have time to go any further, but my friend Harvey is here with some High John the Conqueror root and I wanted to down it while it's still fresh. Oh yes, the judge was almost right about April Fool's Day, except he forgot to drop the "A," as in theist.

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Comment by roland707 on February 28, 2012 at 11:38pm

The people I work with thought it was a fantastic story about a year ago. Arrrgh.

Comment by Donald R Barbera on February 28, 2012 at 4:54pm
I hadn't seen this one before, but it sure provoked a reaction from me. Kneee jerk? Maybe, BUT, when dealing with jerks, it is the appropriate response.
Comment by Sentient Biped on February 28, 2012 at 9:04am

I've seen this fable repeated many times over the years.  Naturally, it does not report the case, the judge's name, the district, or the complainant, because it never happened.   No one can go to court to complain about not having a holiday - the central premise is absurd.  Your so-called friend is spamming you with rehashed bullshit.  By spreading stupid fables like this, your friend wasted your time.  If other recipients are nodding their heads in agreement with the parable, they are not thinking either.  You have a great way with words! The line about Alley Oop is classic! 

Comment by Richard K. Emms on February 28, 2012 at 8:20am

Good one!  The fact is, that I had heard about this case.  I find it so frustrating that such narrow minded people are in positions like a judge or even my boss.  It's obvious that there's more to this, but I don't have time to rant right now. 

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