My Conversion from Christian To Atheist

This all started when I was 14 years old. At this time in my life i was really going through alot and i was becoming depressed. My life at home was horrible. I was to the point of suicide. Well the same week that i was planning the end of me, we get a new bus driver. i know teachers and people of the sort are not suppose to bring there religions on students but i guess she didnt care. At the time i didnt know much about god. So she asked me to coe visit her church, so i did. My family knew the lady so it was no big deal. well i liked her so the next weekend i went over to her house. she told me the whole jesus wants to save your soul story and of coarse i bought into it, because i wanted a change in my life. And here was a man who loved me even with my imperfections, someone i could go to, even though i couldnt see him. So i was born again. and believe me it really did change my life. it was awesome after that. i loved everything about being a christian at the time. so i was living that life for 2 years in tx. That lady became my god mother. Well she had got remarried and her and her husband wanted to adopt me from my grandmother so that i could move out to GA with them. so they did and i moved to GA. This new church was very interesting and it is there that i began to change a little bit at a time. There way of life was starting to not make sense to me at all. i mean it was the same kind of christian church i was in before but this time it was more traditional. Girls only wear dresses, skirts all the time. Fire and brimstone preaching. women get married and have as many kids as possible. these people were crazy. So i really started to pay attention to the bible and i started to actually think about it without anyone telling me anything. I was really shocked at what i had discovered. I was following a god who killed people because of there choice of love, and he said it was because he loved them. now if a god can kill someone because he loves them then what about the people in todays world? thats just saying its ok to kill. And i also realized how much the bible degraded women. so i thought to myself a person wrote this book out of imagination. who has been to heaven and came back and told you that its real? its imppossible. so i went back to tx. but i still hadnt completely left god. i went back to the church i was in before to see if maybe i was wrong. But one day someone told me they didnt believe in god because no one will tell them how to live their life and thats when it hit me. ive been following a bunch of people telling me how to live my life. by the time this happened i was 17. i had lost my teen yrs to living holy and doing nothing fun. i wanted to think on my own. freethinking they call it. my life with god had come to a screeching halt. i am on my own now and it feels great. now im living my life with no regrets. and i love every part of it. i have friends who are christians and who are pagan and wiccan but they dnt judge me and i dont judge them we just love, thats all you can do is just love.

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Comment by Doubting Thomas on March 30, 2011 at 1:45am
Congrats! Welcome to the rational world.
Comment by Donald R Wright, P.E. on March 16, 2011 at 11:41pm
Dawanna, congratulations on your decision. That took a lot of courage. You have many years ahead of you so stay well and continue to pursue truth. Don't stop reading.
Comment by paul babcock on March 16, 2011 at 11:31pm
It is a shame that your teen years were wasted as you say. You are relatively lucky tho that it was only your teen years. Figure most people go thru their entire life believing in something no more reasonable than Santa Clause. Plenty of us atheists, myself included, ended up wasting more than just their teen years.

Take heart in knowing you have the rest of your life to make the best you can of w/o any of those restrictions and delusions anyway.
Comment by Jedi Wanderer on March 16, 2011 at 6:52pm
I'm very glad to hear your story, it gives me a lot of hope for others out there and for humanity itself. You are a great example of how the human spirit can rise above its circumstances to live the life that is proper for a human being to live - one of real caring for yourself and others, of honesty and reason over lies and self-delusion, and one of real hope and power and passion for this life rather than false hope and meek submission to the inferior ideas of inferior minds. You are truly a great person!
Comment by Dawanna Johnson on March 16, 2011 at 3:22pm
thank you guys so much for the comments and just understanding. its so nice to know that there are people out there that understand where im coming from.
Comment by DF Sparks on March 16, 2011 at 12:59am
Wow, you have more independence and courage than I had when I was your age. Good for you
Comment by FeminAtheist Mumbo Jumbo on March 15, 2011 at 11:33pm

There are many things that brought me to atheism, but a big piece of the puzzle was my inability to reconcile any religion with feminism. 

 

Don't feel too bad about your lost teen years.  There are many of us that got stuck in the youth group trap.  Congrats on discovering that you are okay the way you are and for having the courage to be true to yourself.  Much love!

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