so you have made a lot of changes in your life recently perhaps you just quit drinking or are moving maybe you decided to answer the door to every bible thumper  screaming im the the beast 666! nude. never the less you made something different happen and you like it. so how do you keep the past at bay and keep on your newly found path of happy na na ness. i believe that it is so vital keep people who you let go in the past and move on this can be anyone from exes to not so good friends, a lot of people think that if they contact the people who the parted from who where negative to them in there past, and share with them there new found joy that something grand will happen, that the person of not so goods past will embrace them and everything will be mended(there are always exceptions do not get me wrong) but often  more than not the person of not so goods past is full of anger or is willing to drag you back into the very past that you have left behind. so leave people who you let go and stay in the present, there are over 5 billion people in this world it is not all that hard to meet new friends honest. also feeling guilty will bring you nothing guilt most of the time is useless and will only make you commit a bad decision. so her to moving on and moving forward ---azel

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Comment by roland707 on October 7, 2011 at 4:49pm

Aye! Moving forward. Much better than backward. Good.

"If you find spoiled milk in your fridge, would you put it back in and expect it to be better two weeks later?"

Comment by Renshia on October 7, 2011 at 11:57am

answer the door to every bible thumper  screaming im the the beast 666! nude.

 

I'm thinking you had a sudden influx of those needing to save your soul after you did that. LOL

i believe that it is so vital keep people who you let go in the past

I look at this and think of the way I came to this conclusion as well. I now think of it on a basis of energy expended. Some peopple just cost to much energy to have in my life. After the establishment of healthy boundaries, it is curcial to extend energy into the things that bring peace and contentment and keeps you within the boundaries you have set for yourself. People that violate those boundaries need to be widdled out of ones life. You have only so much energy and to waste it on things that have the power to bring you down will only lead to a slide into thinngs that are unhealthy. I once learned that the only way you can help others is if you are strong and healthy first. That has to start with focusing on your mental and physical self first.  above anything else.

also feeling guilty will bring you nothing guilt most of the time is useless

This is definatly true with guilt that is out of control, or just not in control. Guilt is a healthy human mechanism that is not understood and is often abused.

Guilt is a simple reaction by your mind to the violation of your belief system. When you think of how messed up our belief systems are it is easy to see how guilt could easily become a malfunctioning hindrance to healthy functioning.

What needs to happen is a close and thourough examination of the beliefs that cause you to feel guilty. At times we need to alter our actions to align with our beliefs. There is however times when a closer examination will force us to face those beliefs and understand it is not what we are doing that needs to change, but the beliefs themselves. This is a crucial element to building healthy boundaries. Focused recapitulation of our beliefs and where those beliefs are derived from will help to establish healthy guilt reactions and turn guilt into a healthy tool instead of a crippling attacker.

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