Laughter heals! During my time as one of Jehovah's Witnesses I participated in a theocratic ministry school ...

During my time as one of Jehovah's Witnesses I participated in a theocratic ministry school ...this is where we learned to preach. We would be given a topic and had five minutes to make our case, this was done from a stage in front of the congregation. This topic came up in my EX-JW group when our moderator asked if anyone had funny stories about the Theocratic Ministry School and I thought I would share my response.

Moderator asked:
Any funny stories while giving one of these?


I had a part one night on the Ministry School so I was posted in the bathroom dealing with my nerves. "One more talk and then I'm up", I thought to myself. I flushed the toilet and heard the brother announce the next part. WAIT! That's my talk...I was next?! Oh CRAP!!! I thought I had the number 4 talk...What was I thinking?

Off guard, with rapid heart beat, instant nausea and sweaty palms, I tucked in my shirt, checked my face in the mirror, grabbed my bible and notes off the bathroom counter. Chiding myself for being caught in the bathroom, I opened the door and made a beeline up the center of the hall to the table and chairs waiting on the stage. "Raven...Raven...", a few people whispered my name as I passed them sitting in their rows. I heard them. I glowed. Wow...my public awaits...I even allowed myself a discreet wave as I passed...I felt popular. My confidence restored, I thought, "This is gonna be the best talk ever. They will clap and tell me that I was great...the Brother will say, We look forward to your next part on the Ministry School! I will get 'G's'! (we were critiqued: I for improved, W for work on it and G for good.) I am ready!

I took my seat to begin.

A shocking moment, it took a second or two for me to register the fact that the icy cold steel from our 'old school' folding chairs was touching the backs of my... BARE legs?! My mind searched desperately for an answer...while a discreet hand slid along my thigh to discover the hem of my skirt tucked into the waistband along with my shirt. People had called to me while passing -- Nooooooooo! I could feel the heat radiating from my crimson cheeks as I lifted my head slightly and took a quick look out at the audience--maybe no one saw? The sea of lowered, bobbing heads and barely contained guffaws dashed my hope. I felt the blood drain from my head. Apparently, I did carry on with my talk but I can't really remember any of it...LOL!

That was my most talked about ministry school part...hehehe! I did get 'G's, I surely got applause, some told me I was great and the smirking brother said he looked forward to my next part on the ministry school.


No this is not me...hehehe!

Views: 19

Tags: ass, humor, jehovah's, minister, theocratic, witness

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Comment by Jennifer W on March 17, 2009 at 2:41pm
You're stronger than me! I would've cried or bury myself in a hole!
Comment by Ravenone on March 17, 2009 at 12:10pm
Hehehe...when you are me,you have to laugh.
Comment by cj the cynic on March 17, 2009 at 12:08pm
That really sucks. Laughing about it does help though.
Comment by Dre Smith on March 17, 2009 at 12:03pm
Now thats funnny

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