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Ken Ham's Creation Museum or Bust!!!

I am taking a little trip to Pennsylvania this week for a family reunion where I know no one, and I have been dreading this trip for so long. To make matters worse, my cousins have cancelled on me and now I'm making the drive alone. I have been pretty bummed about the entire affair until a little idea popped into my head. I said to myself, "Self, you should stop by and check on Ken Ham over there in Kentucky." That is what I'm going to do and hopefully I will be able to find that dinosaur with the saddle, so I can get some sweet pictures. This has added a whole new level of excitement to my trip. I literally can't wait to see this train-wreck of a museum (using the word museum very loosely!).

I need someone's help. If you have been to the Creation Museum, or if you know someone that has been there, please respond and tell me what I must see, or what to expect. If you want specific pictures taken, I will take whatever people want and send them to you when I return. Also, does anyone know where the saddled dinosaur has been moved to? That's my most important question. I'm taking a cowboy hat just for that reason.

I will be dressing the part of fundamentalist christian, so I won't be exposed and/or stoned to death. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated. Also, I will be writing on my adventure extensively, next week.

Also, I see that the Museum is free to active members of the military. I will be getting in there for free. I'm recently out of the Army, but how could a God-loving Republican charge me $21 after my sacrifice for this country?

Tags: Creation, Dinosaurs, Ham, Ken, Museum, Nuts, Porn, Whackjobs

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Comment by John Q. Antichrist or Rosco on July 10, 2009 at 2:15pm: I will give one quick hint about my trip to the Creation Musuem. Here's a little cliffhanger - there was puking involved!

Comment by John Q. Antichrist or Rosco on July 10, 2009 at 2:13pm: I am back home from my trip across the country. I don't have any time to write a blog right now, but it will be out soon. I went to the Creation Museum and I have a lot to say about that. I also have several hundred photos to go through. I will try to get all the photos up early next week.

Comment by Jim DePaulo on July 3, 2009 at 5:08pm: "I will be dressing the part of fundamentalist christian, so I won't be exposed and/or stoned to death. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
Maybe a pair of dress coveralls with an NRA lifetime members patch - don't forget the vacate look and a bit of drooling will help. Periodically comment with a golleeeee!

Comment by AcesLucky on July 3, 2009 at 3:28pm: You gotta smoke a j before going in. You gotta. Just do it.

Comment by unholyroller on July 1, 2009 at 12:07am: Waiting breathlessly for any pics and all updates. Actually....I'm breathless because I'm laughing so hard. Smiling vacantly and wandering aimlessly will help with the disguise.

Comment by John Q. Antichrist or Rosco on June 30, 2009 at 11:38pm: Well Jason, arrogant ignorance is an easy one. i lived in the great state of Texas for several years, so when I think of a fundamentalist christian I think of cowboy hats, large belt buckles and boots. I don't feel like pulling that look off, so i think I will just wear a soccer dad outfit (solid color pastel polo). A church picnic outfit, but to get the right look on my face, I'm afraid that I can only get that by shoving a stick up my ass. I'm not really looking forward to that part too much, but I have to fit in. Actually, the look I will have to pull off at this place is ignorant bliss.

I hope there's hookers and blow nearby. I'm going to have to wash the wholesome off after this trip.

Note to self: Photo of space warp in the ark.
Photos of the "Honest Exhibits?" Cliff, that might be a picture of the bathroom
door. That might be the only honest exhibit.

Comment by Jason Spicer on June 30, 2009 at 10:56pm: This sounds like it could be a blast if done in the right frame of mind. Unfortunately, I don't think I could overcome the waves of cognitive dissonance emanating from the exhibits. I hope you're made of sterner stuff.

Do try to avoid being stoned to death. That sounds painful. And I'm curious how you plan to pass for a fundamentalist. How will you project that air of arrogant ignorance?

I don't know much about this museum, but I'm assuming there's a Noah's Ark exhibit. If you can, please try to get a photo of the space warp inside it that allows it to hold two of every animal.

Comment by nowimnothing on June 30, 2009 at 7:05pm: A little dated, but everything you need to know from a great author:

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2007/11/12/your-creation-museum-report/