Comment

Comment by Jennie on February 18, 2009 at 2:51pm

I understand where you're coming from. I've had similar friends... It seems that I met these friends at a time when the levels of religiosity was neutral on both ends. But as time passed, we seemed to drift further and further apart. They became more engrossed in their religions and I became a stronger atheist. So, the way these old friends act now (spewing their religious crap) irritates me because I know how they used to be. We used to be friends. These people used to be cool. It's a shame, really. So maybe this is kind of why you feel irritated??

I think you're more than justified in feeling like she was being rude. She definitely was. It's hard not to be rude when you're basically telling someone that your religion is the TRUE religion and anyone who does not adopt it is stupid and going to burn in hell for all eternity.

[sorry if my writing doesn't make sense, I just woke up]

Comment by jc morrison on February 18, 2009 at 2:07pm

wow, good on you. if all of us had that kind of courage, the world would be a better place.

in case you can't tell, i love it. even the wording is great.

Comment by Rosemary LYNDALL WEMM on February 18, 2009 at 2:04pm

Amdndment:

I think I should begin with this statement:

It concerns me that you appear to be oblivious to some generally accepted social rules.

Comment by Rosemary LYNDALL WEMM on February 18, 2009 at 1:59pm

I am considering replying to my friend is this manner. Comments, recommendations, warnings, and exclamations of "what are you thinking" will be gratefully accepted.

Dear "Frieda",

Matthew 7:3
"Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? (New American Standard Bible)


Extended “declarations of faith” are acceptable if they are projected towards those with a similar world view, in which case you could expect a reply in kind. They are also considered acceptable when directed towards individuals or groups who have freely elected to subject themselves to the experience, such as someone attending a Moslim mosque, a Hindu temple, a Pentecostal service or an American Evangelical Crusade as part of their general education and curiosity about life.

Such “witnessing” is considered to be rude when directed at people who do not fit these criteria because it is an act which makes the perpetrator feel good but causes negative feelings in the recipient. It is grossly bad mannered when directed towards those who once held the speaker’s position but abandoned it after encountering inconsistent realities.

Every time you inform me of the “relationship” you have with something I decided long ago was purely imaginary, this is what I hear:

“The conclusions which I have drawn from my subjective experience, and which I have no interest in logically examining, are far superior to the conclusions you have reached after careful examination of the evidence. I have no respect for your reasoning ability or your education because your conclusions differ from mine. If you don’t believe as I do then you must be ignorant, stupid, evil or cursed. You are therefore inferior to me. Let me fix you and show you how you to think correctly.

This is the arrogance of ignorance, not wisdom. This is rudeness, not respect. This is selfishness, not love.

The response you got from me was a relatively mild reaction stemming from a couple of years of pent up irritation over the steadily increasing levels of unsolicited religious assault from you. It has now reached the stage where I have failed to read your last Christmas letter for fear of the religious “head smacks” which it will almost certainly contain. The "Frieda" I originally befriended did not behave in this inconsiderate manner.

Comment by jc morrison on February 18, 2009 at 8:18am

hi rosemary,
yes, plus i completely forgot about your professional background when i wrote that comment.

pardon my homeric nod,
jcm

Comment by Rosemary LYNDALL WEMM on February 17, 2009 at 6:52pm

JCMorrison wrote:

it may also be that you feel a bit sensitive around her because she has completed her christian education while [i assume] you did not.(/blockquote> No sensitivities here. I believe my "christian education" is much better than hers. I did a year of mainstream theological study, and a lot of background reading prior to this. She has no formal theological training at all - and clearly has not engaged in "background reading" of any substance. The stuff she has read is similar or identical to stuff I read in my late teens.

She did her "christian counseling" degree on the basis of nursing certificates. She has absolutely no formal background in psychology or, for that matter, in normal Australian university level Arts or Science (which starts at the US equivalent of 3rd or 4th year College). Her training is a joke.

Comment by Dr. Terence Meaden on February 17, 2009 at 3:08pm

It is so sad and sickening.
Rest assured that you know you are right and she is so wrong.
Just be proud that you are a true atheist standing on the intellectually high ground.
You'll never change these people. Just stop. You have tried enough.

Comment by Rosemary LYNDALL WEMM on February 16, 2009 at 11:01pm

Thanks, Jim. I think that is an interesting and useful way of describing things.

Comment by Moonbeam on February 16, 2009 at 9:31pm

They're always whining about "respect my beliefs"! Why should we? They aren't worthy of any respect, and besides, they don't respect our lack of belief.

Yes she is very annoying, but only because she was once your friend. If it wasn't for that, she would be just another ignorant irrational person whose opinion you shouldn't care about whatsoever.

Comment by Sentient Biped on February 16, 2009 at 9:22pm

Rosemary,
It must be especially hard to set that kind of boundary to someone who showed you kindness in your time of need. Your trust was severely violated, and she helped you through it.

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