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I finally came out to my parents

Yes, I did it. I feared they might find out from someone else so I figured it would be best if they heard it from me. I also saw it as a way to tell them why I had been complaining about going to church all this time. I am happy that I told them, but I am also sad to have let them down. I thanked them for trying to give me good morals through my former religion, but also said that it just wasn't right for me anymore. My mom slowly cried and then went to blame it on my ex-boyfriend, which is ridiculous because he didn't make me convert to atheism; he inspired me to look at things from all points of view and I agreed with this side more. I unfortunately still have to go to church until I am out of the house, but I told them not to get mad at me anymore for not participating. Now, my parents are going to pray for my conversion every single day to rub it in my face about my change of view. They are also currently acting like I don't really exist. It really makes me sad, and I hope this will pass soon. Is this a typical reaction?

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Comment by Objection on March 15, 2010 at 10:43pm: John D, you can tell him that something does come from nothing. Read up on virtual particles.

Comment by Kristine R. on March 14, 2010 at 11:44pm: And I assured them that just because my views on life are different now, it does not mean that I love them any less, and I have been showing them by just continuing to be a good person and not treat them any differently than I did before

Comment by Kristine R. on March 14, 2010 at 11:42pm: Thank you all for your support, and their initial reactions seemed to pass today when we took a family trip to Disneyland...I do hope it stays that way

Comment by Garrick McElroy on March 14, 2010 at 3:06pm: It's not uncommon. It happens to a lot of people, and it sucks. I agree with a lot of the people before me, and I also think you should try to be a really nice person, moreso than normal. It'll show them that you aren't without morals and that you aren't some lunatic who's now going to go kill everyone you can find because you don't believe in some narcissistic, malevolent god who judges you based on finite acts and rewards/punishes you ifinitely for them.

Comment by Lorien on March 14, 2010 at 2:02pm: You never let them down - they let you down by indoctrinating you in the first place. The whole world is now open to your rational state of mind. Congrats on waking up to reality.

Watch out for intense brainwashing that may occur when you go to that place with your parents. Have you read the God Delusion yet? There is a lot of good discussion in there that will help in your defense of your new position. It is available in an audio book too. The Greatest Show on Earth is also good for the evidence to support the fact of evolution.

Comment by Rob van Senten on March 14, 2010 at 12:38pm: I would be much more confrontational with your parents and I would try to be as honest as possible. If you respect your parents, then maybe it's better to be completely honest with them then to tell them half of the truth to spare their feelings. Relationships are based upon trust, and too often an unresolved conflict have disastrous effects on them. If you are ok with an elephant in the room, please be aware that if you hide or seal away a part of yourself from your parents your relationship with them will suffer. Your parents will notice that you are pushing them away, which is the exact thing that they are worried for.

Don't forget that theism (or lack there of) can often be divisive in families, often because there is too little communication and affirmation of the basis of the relationship. I think that Tom has a point when he says that it's best to present your case without emotion, but I would stress that you share your emotions regarding your relationship with your parents as well maybe not in the same conversation though.

I don't know you or your parents, but I'm guessing that your parents love you and that they want the best for you, don't forget to tell them that you know, and how you feel for them.

Comment by Tom Thompson on March 14, 2010 at 11:21am: That's a bold move. Since your parents seem to have reacted relatively well I suggest that you take every opportunity to demonstrate to them why you came to the conclusion you did. Just remember to present your case like a documentary, without emotion because that would only stir their own and that is where their religion lies.

Comment by Justin L on March 14, 2010 at 10:16am: it didn't even come up till i was 27 (last year) , and it kinda went like this. "So you don't believe xxxx , HUH" , "well i think your wrong but whatever". it hasn't come up since.

Comment by Kristine R. on March 13, 2010 at 10:45pm: They are also scared that I will try to convert my brother, which is really stupid because 1 - he is autistic, and 2 - he doesn't even understand what religion IS to begin with. Blah.

Comment by Cyril Manthorpe on March 13, 2010 at 10:32pm: Religion ruins everything! Not a single church is moral and never has been. Intolerance and hatred is spouted by all religious people even if they don't know their doing it. It appears to me your parents are doing this right now. Do you think they know they are spouting intolerance and hatred toward their own flesh and blood! ? I doubt it. Religion is ruining your family. It has ruined many a family before yours. Keep strong and remember, you are correct and they are wrong.

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