I can't laugh at this, it makes me too angry

In Crawford,Tx  an 11 year old girl was gang raped by 18 adult men. I call them adult men because I'm sorry, if you are a young man(age 16) and you willingly rape an 11 year old girl, you are now an adult.

 

What makes me angry is the fact that there are honestly people playing the race card. An 11 year old girl has been brutally raped, and people are just so selfish and self-important that they just HAVE to remove the responsibility that is firmly on the correct shoulders, and put it on the girl's shoulders.

 

An 11 year old.Because when a rape/molestation occurs, we blame the victim. It's an easy course of action, right? Because one little girl could not only turn on a group of 18 men, but sit there and allow herself to be treated in such a manner. 

 

"But, she was dressed like an older woman. It wasn't their fault they thought she was older."

 

WTF?! She's 11, not 21. Yes, if you slap makeup and mini-skirts on an 11 year old.....

 

She'll still look like a little kid, or more kid than adult. There is a roundness in the face, a narrowness of the hips which should be a hint "This girl is not fully mature physically, walk the eff away."

 

But, I'll give the people this. Alright, so she looked older than her real age.

 

So, when does it ever appear to be a great idea to take ANY woman who dresses "unseemly" and do something like that to her?

 

Here's a hint: Never.

 

If the thought occurs to you or to even to your friends "Hey, it's a ho...let's all have our way with her.", please, just walk away. Because unless a grown woman(that is a woman who is 18 and older) gives consent to EVERY person there, it's rape.

 

Maybe, as an ex-friend said, my views on child rape/sex and rape in general are harsh, but if consent was not given(or not capable of being given in the case of the mentally infirm or children) then it's rape.

 

Plain and simple. What really disgusts me is that an actual town is being ripped apart by this, because many of the family(and friends) are more worried about the rapists being "affected negatively" or "harmed" than the hell that's been unleashed on that little girl.

 

Because it is very much hell they've unleashed on(and in her). If any of them have STDs, she will have them because of the tears in her vagina(and other mucus lined places) leave her open to that. The fear that she will have of Black men in general will be so bad, she might attempt ways to avoid them. Her view on herself will change, mutate even, to that view that her molesters held: that she is just her vagina, something to be used and then thrown away. She is a disposable girl.

 

When and if she goes to school, she will be bullied because people rather lash out at the victim instead of help. Those who will try or want to help, will have a long road ahead of them. She might regress a bit in behavior. Night terrors, panic attacks, and fits of rage will be a daily problem. And daily she'll have to wake up with that loathing inside of her. She may say or hint at the storm within, or she might silently suffer through it.

 

Her view on men in general will shift, causing her to believe they are to be feared and hated. I could go on and on, but those personality changes and such will depend on how she was and how she is now.

 

Her only salvation will be medical care, therapy(group and individual), and  love/patience/understanding from family and friends.

 

I would love it if the newspapers and news stations would stop painting her as some type of lolita. She was 11. The way she was dressed, I am sad to say, did nothing to affect her rapists. It is only a method of justification so they can sleep at night. Rapists don't go after a woman or a man from horniness, they go after them because they appear weak. And like the predator they are, they attack, not caring what happens.

And I would love it even more if the Black parishners would stop sitting here and acting so damned shocked. Child molestation and rape occurs everywhere, from the barrio to the penthouses. They all depend on someone being victimized and people keeping secrets. Yes, it is awful that a minority is being known for harming someone, but you know what? That was THEIR action that THEY have to take responsibility for. Not the entire black "race". So get over yourselves please.

 

And that Quarnell X guy? He disgusts me. To sit there and blame the victim doesn't make you a man. It makes you an idiot facilitating a group of cowards. So excuse me if I don't call you "brother".

 

And the woman in Florida who wants to enforce a dress code because the 11-year "dressed like a 21 year old prostitute" needs to slow her roll. First, dressing like a "prostitute" does not mean "please rape me" it might mean "I don't have fashion sense" or "I really think I look cute!" but not "rape me". I don't know if you get off on blaming the victim....

 

But stop it.

 

It's easy to blame the victim, even if she looks like she "deserves it". But rape is rape. And no woman or girl should be told she was to blame, she brought it on herself, or that she deserved it. To look in a person's eyes shows a lack of compassion and character that is on par with Pol Pot.

 

It's interesting that I'm making a Pol Pot reference in a subject like this, but I feel strongly about it.

 

Because that type of crap happens all the time.

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Comment by John Camilli on March 24, 2011 at 3:00pm

Monica, I empathize with your experience, probably more than you think a man can empathize with it, but it has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. Girls do not dress anymore like they did in the 80's. 5,6 & 11 year-old girls now wear clothing that shows off bodies most of them don't even have yet. It's like women in america are in a mass phase of exhibitionism, just because they can be. Because after women's lib, no one can tell a woman what to wear, or do, or anything. And that's fine, I don't think people should be able to control the actions of others. But here's what's happenning as a result. Men in america are now pretty constantly subjected to arousing material. Every billboard, every poster, every magazine, and every woman walking down the street has become a giant 'look but don't touch' sign. Whether or not you think that's right, that's what it very often feels like from a man's perspective, and it's an easy step from there to see how that could create a lot of unnecessary frustration in the the world. Sex sells, but should that mean we constantly force sexual material into a man's eyes? To me, that's a form of forcing sex on somenoe, which John D nicely points out that our society has largely condemned.

 

 

onica, when the guy tried to violate you, he didn't actually have sex with you, right? But you still felt violated, right? That's how I feel. I don't think women are out to get me, anymore than that guy was out to harm you specifically. He just wanted what he wanted, and women just want what they want, but laws are in place because sometimes what I want is going to harm someone else, and vice versa. I'm saying I'm baing harmed, and a lot of other men are too, and it just gets ignored. This frustration, if not re-directly effectively, builds into a lot of men's "reason" for rape, in my opinion. And there's no blame for it, it's just that human systems work in certain ways, and sometimes those ways harm other human systems, but if we realize it, should we not try to do something about it? How can you so easily dismiss a person who sits here and tells you they are being harmed? Just because you don't think its a legitemate harm?

 

John, if the rules worked just fine, why is rape such a problem in our country? And John, maybe sexual frustration is all about a hard-on and rosie palms to you, but it has deeper effects on me that are not all relieved by a jerk session. I think society's 'rules' on sex are not very effective at all, and that they cause a lot of harm. Harm is violence, so in my opinion, societies rules make for sexual violence.

Comment by Monica S. on March 22, 2011 at 4:04pm

You cannot have it both ways John. Either men are slaves to their genetics, or they are just culpable period and tend to use arguments such as that as an excuse. Because I'll be honest with you, the argument I'm getting from you is "Women are manipulative creatures who use sex to take control over weak men. and "Women dress that way knowing they can get that response from men." etc

Well answer me this:

When I was ages 5,6, and 11...what did I do to possibly trick or  manipulate some man into molesting me? And when I hit age 19, please inform me why the minister who tried to rape me used that same argument?(It's in my genes, and your pheramones prove you want it!). Here's a hint: at 5,6, and 11 I dressed like any child in the 80's would dress: badly. I wore puffy paint shirts and played video games(or at least tried).

When I hit 19, I was very much on the "No sex before marriage, no kissing ever" bandwagon. I made it a purpose to dress modestly because I had it crammed down my throat that I was responsible for my spiritual brothers. Because their genetics made them foaming at the mouth horndogs when presented with the smallest bit of cleavage. I made sure at all moments to never be alone with a man, even making my closest friends have a chaperone.

The minister I mentioned before was going through the same Cell Leader training as I was. I had a crush on him, but as it was my church's custom, I did not make any moves on him. He told me straight up that on no uncertain terms would he ever date me(apparently he can read minds), so I took it to mean he would never find me attractive. I mean, he said that too. So I was lulled into the idea that he was a guy I could trust.

The first time I knew something was very wrong was when he tried to "ahem" sample the goods while both me and a friend were trying to sleep. I was the idiot who thought being fully dressed and all three of us crashing in the living room wouldn't be a bad idea. I was the dummy would said "Yeah, this butterfly chair is big enough for two skinny people". (facepalm).

Well, after that, I told him quite calmly that he needed to leave me alone.

And he did, for a few weeks. As I was getting ready to watch adult swim friday(I'm showing my age), I got a phone call. It was him at the gate of the apartment complex I lived in. He told me that he was just wanting to come to applogize for being such a big jerk. I believed him.

What I was wearing that night would only appeal to strange, strange men. I wore the footsie pj's because they were comfortable, and wore my hair in pigtails when I was going to sleep. Long story short, he was not coming to applogize. He was coming to finish what he started. But this time I fought him off, landing a few very good punches. What made me think he wasn't that stable, was the fact that my fighting him off, my struggling turned him on. That sick shit.

The next day, I talked to my cell leader, and told her what happened. After sighing, she told me I deserved it and brought it onto myself. So I never brought it up to her again.

My friends knew, but nothing was really done to stop him. So, he...remained at large. I left the church a year or two later.

I was mad at myself(still am) for opening that damn door. For actually being that trusting.

I wasn't attractive, i didn't go out of my way to rile men up(as your argument would state). I kept my nose in books and was attempting to keep my legs closed by any means possible.

So yes, I pretty much disagree with you. Because as I've seen, men who rape go after women who are weak or in my case, really naive. Some of them foster friendships with their victims first, winning their trust.

There are some women who use sex as a weapon, those folks need therapy for insecurity issues. But the most of us just want to be able to dress normally and not get hassled for it. Granted, my idea of "normal" are long skirts and tops. Because sadly when you leave the church, the last thing to change is your fashion....

Comment by John Camilli on March 22, 2011 at 3:13pm

"That may be, but women shouldn't be made victims and punished for a man's lack of self-control."

 

I agree, but I don't think men should be made victims of their own genetics either. Genetics is not a choice.

 

"Also, just because something is natural, or genetic, doesn't mean it's right or OK.

Only a bad workman blames his tools."

 

A more proper analogy would be that only a bad teacher blames the student. Men are 'taught' by their genetics how to feel, how to react to stimuli, and how to procreate. That men become filled with testosterone when a woman wears a sexy outfit is not their fault any more than the woman's. But it's much easier to wear different clothes than to overcome the mechanisms that produce testosterone. The latter may be achievable within a decade or so due to scientific progress, but until then a man cannot simply decide not to want to have a girl that arouses him. All he can do is channel that feeling into something else, which is what men have been doing for a long time now, and many of us don't do it in healthy ways, so it re-surfaces as, say, rage inspired rape.

Comment by John Camilli on March 22, 2011 at 3:07pm

Valles, rape is about power because men are made to feel sexually powerless constantly. In my opinion, what women do to men every day is a type of rape. I have not been physically raped, so some may consider my comments uninformed, but since the trauma of rape is mostly mental, I feel as though I do have a valid opinion on it.

 

I have no problem with a woman who dresses in whatever way becaise she thinks it looks cute. A person has every right to choose their garb. But I think that many women dress the way they do to be cute, or sexy to other people and I think that is just a type of manipulation. It's not like women don't know that they can have a huge effect on a man by being sexy. When they dress to be sexy, it's to have that effect. Perhaps I generalize too much, but anyone living in america certainly must admit that many american women dress to their advantage, which is to a man's disadvantage. And no more than I think men have the right to use their strength to someone else's disadvantage do I think women have the right to use their looks to a man's disadvantage.

 

Society teaches women it's okay to use sex to get their way; that sexuality is part of a woman's empowerment, but it does not teach women that getting power in this way causes a lot of resentment from 'the other side.' And it may be insensetive of me to say, but my bet is that it causes a lot of rape too.

Comment by Daniel W on March 21, 2011 at 10:34pm
These guys probably do have some jail time ahead. Most of them are young and, shall we say, probably fresh meat for the more seasoned occupants of the jails and prisons. They may have a chance to learn about rape from a different perspective. Not that anyone should approve of that, of course.
Comment by Jim DePaulo on March 21, 2011 at 6:31pm

There is more than just something wrong when 18 "men" decide to gang rape an 11 year old girl. Sometimes I think corporal punishment fits in certain situations - this is one such situation. 
She may have looked more than her age (when I taught in middle school there were 11 year old girls far more developed than one would think).  But even if she was a 40 year old, crack addict, street walker - if she didn't consent it's rape. It's not that fucking hard of a concept to understand.
The human male is programmed to be sexually aggressive - the civilized male knows to control their caveman genetic heritage.  These troglodytes have not made the transition from caveman to civilized (shit! They barely make the cut to be human) .
I really hope they see some serious jail time – child rapist, regardless of ethnicity, don't fare well in the joint.

Comment by Valles Marineris on March 21, 2011 at 6:11pm

I have to disagree with you John. In most cases rape isn't even about sexual attraction or how a woman dresses, it's about power.

 

"It's genetic, and hundred's of thousands of years have made sure that the very most aggressive, sex-addicted, willing-to-kill-to-survive men are the only ones left on earth. The only men alive that are not now designed to want, no need sex at the bat of an eyelash, are mutations. Society has not been civilized long enough for men to have genuinely evolved to respect women's choices."

 

That may be, but women shouldn't be made victims and punished for a man's lack of self-control.

 

Also, just because something is natural, or genetic, doesn't mean it's right or OK.

Only a bad workman blames his tools.

 

 

Comment by John Camilli on March 21, 2011 at 4:54pm

I'm in agreement with you, completely, but I want to bring up an issue that sounds like I'm playing devil's advocate, although I don't perceive it that way.

 

Men are tortured by women, regularly, because we have no control over what looks good to us and what arouses us. It's genetic, and hundred's of thousands of years have made sure that the very most aggressive, sex-addicted, willing-to-kill-to-survive men are the only ones left on earth. The only men alive that are not now designed to want, no need sex at the bat of an eyelash, are mutations. Society has not been civilized long enough for men to have genuinely evolved to respect women's choices.

 

But a woman's choice of clothing is not an evolutionary imperrative. Clothing is also fairly recent, and style definitely is, which makes it a behavioral choice, not something that can't be helped. In short, women can help what they wear, but men can't help how they feel about it. They can help what they do about it, which is why I still agree that the act is horrendous, but I think a lot of men choose to rape girls because they are so angry that women can torture them all they want and never be able to do anything about it...except rape them.

 

I think a lot of the incentive to rape women would be eliminated by regulating women's attire. Of course, that's a slippery slope, but people have to wear clothes in some places, and have to wear certain types of clothes in other places, like school, so we regulate it already. Im not suggesting women should be in burkhas, but there needs to be some accountability on society for the occurences of rapes inspired by frustration. I don't know if the rape in consideration was fueled by that frustration, but that does not belay that very many likely are.

Comment by Napoleon Bonaparte on March 20, 2011 at 7:47pm
Such behavior is unacceptable and I appreciate your sentiments. Still, there are overwhelming reasons for an  adversarial judicial system and free media.
Comment by Valles Marineris on March 20, 2011 at 7:24pm
Wow. What a sad story! And I agree with you. I hate it so much when you hear people say things like "Well look how she was dressed...She was asking for it"! It blows my mind! I don't care if a woman walks around stark naked, she's not asking to be raped!

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