How would you deal with me?
I am an ardent existentialist who does not believe in freedom or choice. I believe I am a cog in the wheel, as it were, and I neither take responsibility nor accept blame for anything that happens. I do not plan ahead (consciously) or worry, and I do not look behind and regret. In my philosophy, it is impossible to make mistakes because everything is only what it must be, and could not be otherwise, despite the human suspicion that many possibilities exist. I live only in the moment.
All this seems to make me a difficult presence for anyone else I encounter. People seem to always want to be in a position of give and take; of mutual survival, which makes sense if you value survival. I do not, so the give and take is more burdensome than my system is willing to accept. I have no relative valuations for living, dying, existing or not existing. It is all of equal merrit to me, which is to say that it has none. Any value I would project on these concepts is just the confusion of my ego, not clearly seeing that the thing I am valuing is inextricably linked to all of the things I am not valuing. They are all the same things, only from different perspectives.
Anyway, my path has now lead me into a situation of being a pariah, both to society and my family, and yet my own tendencies in life do not lend themselves well to my survival, so I am probably doomed to "die" fairly soon (I do not see an actual distinction between living and non-living systems, so the words "life" and "death" don't have a real meaning to me. I only use them for your sake). From my perspective, there is nothing good or bad about this eventuality, which means my system is unable to create the inequality of desire-over-reality that motivates action. I expect that my system will be compelled to survive as it can, once shit hits the fan, but in my current straights that will likely mean committing crimes for which, again, I will not consider myself responsible. It is my system's needs, not mine. I have never chosen when to be hungry or thirsty or tired. I have never chosen anything at all, despite feeling as if I have. Even the feeling of desiring a particular outcome has been demonstrated to be a chemical interraction, so it is the chemicals that will be committing crimes against themselves and each other, not "me."
Of course, I didn't always think this way. I was sufficiently similar to most people for most of my life that I could get along, if only tolerably. So I can understand what most of you are thinking when you hear my beliefs. What I'm curious about is, if you knew and loved someone like me, what would you say to them? Would you even try to "help" them or would let them do as they wish even if it means they don't survive? How would you deal with me? Or would you not?