Found gawd in a spoon full of heroin......

It was 1972 in san Antonio texas,fort sam Houston where I was training to be a combat medic. There it was......it was everywhere and it was free or cheap.......china white,vietnamese heroin. I sat there with the syringe in my hand thinking if my mother saw this what would she think as tears streamed down my face........then I slowly pushed the plunger in and all those feelings went away......I saw god for the first time ever in my life.......I was in heaven dancing with the angels,i found the love of my life,finally I was one with the universe. It turned out to be my worst demon that followed me most of my life.....addiction is such a bitch. Narcotics effect so many of us today.....prescriptions and the like. AA/NA/CA ect.ect.ect........what a crock of shit.........just give it all to jesus and he will deal with it for you. Bullshit! You have no willpower and must have a higher power.....bullshit! If you or someone you know has an addiction to any chemical please take a moment and look at smart recovery as a recovery system.......google it........meetings all over the world based on science logic and reason,very atheist friendly,and yes you do have will power it is just that we have been told for so long that we don't that we came to believe that..........tired of giving it all to jesus only to have him dump it back in your lap........give smart recovery a shot..........you can do this and you are not alone.....peace be with each and everyone!

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Comment by Daniel W on January 30, 2014 at 10:05am
Kent I trained at Ft Sam 3years after you.... Who knows what stroke of luck kept me from heading down the same path. The guys who sold pot sometimes mixed in heroin to cause addiction.... I have always been in need of control, so maybe thats why I did not down that path.

its been a long and difficult way for you. Your efforts are admirable and give others hope. Hang in there. Be strong.
Comment by Michael Penn on January 30, 2014 at 7:50am

Jesus gave it back to you because he didn't want it either. That makes it your own personal problem without gawd.

I was a heavy smoker for 35 years and smoked 2 packs a day. I don't mean light 'em up and let 'em burn. I mean smoked them. I quit 14 years ago cold turkey, and I quit just like I started, but this time in reverse. I laid the cigarettes down and I quit. I still drink my beer and don't need a cigarette. (Oh, praise Thor.)

My mother died 7 years ago. What makes me so damned mad here is that I found out 2 years ago that she didn't believe me. She thought I was a "secret smoker" that still smoked when I drank. Not true, but it was her way of enabling and supporting my step dad who could not stop smoking.

I actually had a neighbor with no voice box due to cancer, and he claimed that Jebus helped him stop smoking. Maybe that'swhy I saw him with a cigarette every time he drank a beer. He's dead now too.

Kent, I'm glad you kicked your habit.

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