“Find God’s Match for You!” ™

“I like the silent church, before the service begins, better than any preacher.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Those who love God are not always friends of their fellow-men.’

Robert Ingersoll

I am really glad I’m not a lawyer for ChristianMingle.com.  How do I even know they have lawyers?  Every company does, especially one that makes as bold a claim as this: “Find God’s Match for You”(TM).  

They’ve even trade-marked it, so no one, not even a priest or rabbi, can say he found God’s match for someone.   There were matchmakers long before ChristianMingle, but they didn’t claim to know what God wants.   Yes, we often hear the phrase “meant to be” for successful couples (”not meant to be” for relationships that didn’t work out), but this is only a weak claim to know God’s will in retrospect.

ChristianMingle has thus ventured into an area that even religion, which will interfere any way it can, won’t enter.  Religion will given you a million meaningless rituals, dunk you in water, make some empty promises about the afterlife, tell you which infidels to hate, mutilate your genitals, and give you specific directions about how to conduct the most personal affairs of your life.  It will preside over every one of life’s main events, birth to death.  But even religion does not pretend to “find God’s match for you.”

How arrogant!

What balls (or ignorance) it takes to make such a claim.

Their voiceovers on the CNN ads say something about your waiting for God to make the next move ( = not signing up for ChristianMingle.com) versus God’s saying, “It’s your time to act” ( = signing up for Christianmingle.com).  Now they’re claiming to speak for God, but I thought that privilege is reserved for clergy.

Wow!  They will find God’s match for you.  What a claim!  They know whom God wants you to pair up with. 

God’s performance is spotty.

But here’s the problem: as in everything else, God’s performance is spotty.  Some ChristianMingle relationships will be one-night stands, where the guy uses Jesus to get into her pants.  Some will be casual dating relationships that peter out or end in intense confrontations.  Some will stay together and never marry. Some will marry and divorce.  Just like in real, non-God/computer-assisted life. 

Many flavors

And there are many levels and denominations of Christianity.  The site doesn’t seem to deal with these.  Initial questions had to do with appearance and moved on to profession. 

Well, who cares?  It’s God’s match!  God can match any Christian to any Christian…can’t he? 

I don’t think so.  Southern Evangelical wingnuts waiting for the Rapture aren’t going to have much to say to liberal, well-educated Presbyterians from Boston.

So yes, I’m glad not to be one of their lawyers.  What happens when God’s match for me dumps me?   Was that not really God’s match for me?  Then how come ChristianMingle hooked me up with him/her?

Apparently a lot of Christians (so far) have faith in God’s wisdom and ability to find them a mate, albeit assisted by the proper software: ChristianMingle membership is in the millions and growing rapidly.  Millions of Christians do not trust God to find them a mate on his own.  He needs computer assistance.  These days, everything is computer-assisted, so why not God’s will?

Disappointing

What is surprising and disappointing about ChristianMingle is that it’s a run-of-the-mill dating site.   I went several levels into it (but no further; I’m a happily married man), and there was nothing about my Christianity. 

Shouldn’t the early questions ask whether I consider Jesus my personal savior, or whether I exist to love and serve God – or whether I believe the Bible is God’s word or just some stuff some guys made up? 

Or shouldn’t the first question be something like “My Christianity can best be described as (a) agnostic; (b) lukewarm; (c) sorta believe it; (d) really believe it; or (e) ’Burn the heretic!’”

I don’t know. 

When Christians contemplate their Christianity, how committed are they to the literal truth of the Bible…to the whole mythological/psychotic architecture?  Agnostics and fundamentalists are most certainly not God’s match for each other.

Pitfalls

So there are a lot of pitfalls to this “God’s match” business, blithely unnoticed by the millions flocking to join up.  And when something goes awry with God’s match, don’t come and sue me.  As I said, I’m glad I’m not their lawyer.

Views: 366

Tags: Christianity, computer, dating, religion

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Comment by Alan Perlman on June 2, 2012 at 3:12pm

LOL.  Acutally, their slogan is ambiguous as to WHO will find god's match -- probably you, since God has already made the match, now get off your ass and find him/her.

 

Pat, thanks for the grilled cheese - it should go right before "Burn the heretics!"

Comment by Pat on June 2, 2012 at 1:24pm

Actually, I kind of wish I was their lawyer. I say this, by the way, out of simple greed, and nothing more.  I agree that, like any other dating situation, there will be one night stands, confrontations, and marriage and divorce.  And, they might even get sued over one of these. So what?! You can sue someone for being ugly on a pretty day. File a complaint and have him/her served with a summons. The real question is what is the likelihood of success?

And I would posit the opinion that the success of suing ChristianMingle.com over a bad date is somewhere near zero.

"You said you would find god's match for me." 

"No we didn't. We said 'Find God's match for you.' The implication being, you need to find god's match."

"But that's not how I understood it."

"Not our problem you can't understand things. Besides, how do you know god wasn't testing you, like he did by giving your 6 year niece terminal leukemia? Furthermore, how do you know god's match for you is not on our website right now, waiting for you to pass god's test? You just haven't tried hard enough or, just maybe *gasp* you don't have enough faith. Have you looked into your heart to see if you're truly a committed Christian?"

I would add one more question to the multiple choice you stated as best describing one's Christianity. (f) "I see Jesus's face in a grilled cheese sandwich."

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