It was a miracle. There I sat, constipated and praying for the good lord to relieve me of the brown demon lodged deep in my colon.
I prayed and I pushed, I pushed and I prayed some more. Then, finally, with a force I thought might rip my pernium, it emerged like a newborn into a watery, porcelain world. A world where I planned to exact swift revenge on the assaulter of my anus by flushing it into an eternal abyss of excrement and mutant teen turtles.
When I looked back in anger at what had nearly rendered me unconcious, I noticed what could only be described as a miracle!
There it was in all its glory, the face of Jesus Christ staring back at me. The Savior's image as plain as day; forever immortalized in all its brown majesty in, of all people's bowel movements, mine! I hastily made a cross-like gesture in the air in front of my face and said the lords prayer.
Then with a sudden swish, the whirling water rushed over our lord and savior's face, spinning it into oblivion to be sanitized at the local water sewage treatment facility. To be released like a corn-crowned-boneless-brown messiah to pop up or out at whim and perform miracles throughout the world.