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Down And Out

My name is Leonard Francis and I'm new to all of this ATHEIST stuff and I have some problems. I would like to get advice from as many people as I can. First off I have to share that I'm SUPER SUICIDAL. I suffer with a huge depression problem that I'm getting treated for but nothing seems to work. Anyway...I'm a black man from the south and if you didn't know, black people from the south take GOD very seriously. They pray about any and everything. From paying bills,how to feel,what to do,where to go, what to buy, winning football games,job changes, EVERYTHING. When things don't go my way or I need something all they do is say "take it to GOD". Well I've been doing that for over 30 yrs and to tell you the truth, Ive never really been happy at all. Nothing ever seems to work out for me no matter how much I've prayed or how hard I tried. A few years ago I came to the conclusion that maybe there isn't a GOD at all. EVERY SENSE THEN MY LIFE HAS GOTTEN WORSE AND WORSE. I lost everything I owned. I lost my job and I was hopeless. Hell...I'm almost homeless again cause the month is almost up and I still have no job to pay rent. I get very depressed and even tried to kill myself several times recently. I'm so pitiful that I can't even do that right.

I'm the only one I know who really doesn't believe in GOD and everyone say its cause I've blasphemed. That things won't ever get better cause I disowned GOD. But when I did believe and prayed very hard...I got nowhere. They say its cause I didn't have enough faith, but its hard to believe in something good when everything always goes wrong no matter how hard or how much I try. I really don't understand the whole "BIBLE" thing cause it really doesn't make sense to me. I can't just "UP AND START PRAYING" just cause everyone else is doing it. Can't GOD understand that?

Everything went bad for me. My job was lost,severe back problems, homelessness you name it. WHAT CAN I DO TO TURN THINGS AROUND? I can't get a job for nothing, and to top it off...I can barely walk or stand for a long period of time cause of my back.

IS THERE ANYWHERE I CAN GO FOR ADVICE? IS THERE A ATHEIST CHURCH OR SOMETHING TO GO TO FOR GUIDANCE? WHERE CAN I GET A JOB WHO DOESN'T DISCRIMINATE ABOUT RELIGION OF LACK OF? HOW DO ANY OF YOU PROSPER? SHOULD I BELIEVE IN GOD? HOW CAN I TURN MY LIFE AROUND? PLEASE HELP ME!!!

PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE...... ANYONE ANYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Comment by Mike Johnson on October 16, 2012 at 9:38am: Leonard ... Depression is a bitch. You've gotta fight that shit first and fast. Are you on medication for it? If not, get on some.

Second, work on your health. Do whatever exercise you can do. One of the proven ways to get through depression is exercise ... just move. Start small with whatever your back will allow. Your back may improve as well. Eat ONLY healthy food for at least a while. Go to the store and buy only veggies. Eat only veggies for a week. No junk food ... no fast food. It's harder, but it makes a difference ... AND it's cheaper.

This is the most important advice ... and it may be IS the hardest. I've been depressed and down on my luck, but I'm not a black man in the south ... and therefore, I give you the right to tell me to fuck off and that I don't understand. But it's important to say (in my opinion) - make NO EXCUSES. You must not blame others for anything. ONLY You have the ability to improve your situation and by posting here, I can tell you're trying. Praying won't help. You're in a hole right now and no god will pull you out ... and unfortunately you can't count on others to do it either. YOU have the ability to do it ... you just need to find it again. Let others pray FOR you, but f* them ... it's all about you. Focus on yourself first. Find your confidence. Find your fighter.

I truly hope things improve. Don't give up.

Comment by Sentient Biped on October 15, 2012 at 9:22am: Leonard, I hope things turn around for you. I don't have an answer. I wish I did. It's tough having the pain and not being able to work. I would keep my atheist thoughts to myself if they get in the way of finding work. Work is more important. Good luck to you.

Comment by Glen Rosenberg on October 14, 2012 at 10:19pm: Leonard, suicide is not a great way out. Depressive states come and go. You live once. Do not blow your shot to create a satisfying life for yourself. Each human life is a gift. Think of the unimaginable sequence of events that had to unfold exactly as they did to produce the life of Leonard Francis!

You know prayer is a monumental waste of time. As believers say the lord helps those who help themselves. This is a reality based claim if you take out the imaginary creator.

And congratulations on your realization and becoming an atheist. You are surrounded by people who share a delusion and you see through it. But in your day to day dealings and especially in trying to find work it is best to keep that private. And know that there are many black atheists. Some are on this site. And there is a person here who formed a group known as Black atheists of America.

Comment by Napoleon Bonaparte on October 14, 2012 at 9:06pm: Are you fit to work at the present time ? If not, you should recuperate for a while. To afford this you should rely on social welfare and anything else. When you are ready to work you will be able to derive an income again. You could keep your Atheism to yourself at least until you are on your feet again.