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Comment by Samuel Muriithi on October 22, 2012 at 1:44am

Leonard i second all the posts here by every1 suggesting you find something akin to an atheist support group I'm sure you'll find friends there who will be more than willing to support and help you through this.

Comment by Sentient Biped on October 21, 2012 at 11:45am

Leonard, by recognizing that there isn't someone "up there" you take the first step to having control of your own life.  Every journey starts.  One step at a time.  One step at a time.

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Everyone has their "demons".  Even thought demons aren't real, we still have our challenges to deal with.  

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Not knowing your story, all I can say is keep working on changing your life.  It doesn't all come at once, and there are steps back as well as steps forward.  But but working on it, there can be more steps forward, than steps backward. 

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Just knowing it's not a "god" who is punishing you for some past sin, is a step in the right direction.  There also is not a "god" who can keep you form moving forward.

Comment by Leonard Francis on October 21, 2012 at 10:53am

Please keep all of your comments and advice comming. It really helps!!!

Comment by Leonard Francis on October 21, 2012 at 10:53am

Thank you all for the comments and opinions. It feels great to have people concerned about a fellow human being. Im trying my best to gain a positive attitude but its very hard when nothing ever goes your way. I realize I have a serious diease(although I never thought beings depressed was a form of diease)and its really taking its toll on me because even thoigh I get all these wonderful feedbacks and support...I still would rather be dead right now. I just wish there was someone I could actually talk to or a place I could go that wouldn't turn up their nose just cause Im not sure about the whole GOD thing.

Comment by Tonya Wynn on October 19, 2012 at 2:44pm

Leonard, if you are i the Atlanta or Macon area we can meet.  Go the Atlanta meetup, if you are local.  Also, I read two GREAT library books (free) which helped pull me out of a DEEP depression:  Undoing Depression and Natural Prozac.  The last one gave the quickest results and was the easiest to read.  It says: get out in the sun for at least an hour daily (light affects the brain); take a great multi-vitamin, since many vitamin deficiencies cause or aggravate depression, esp. the B-vitamins; keep a journal to track what and when you get upset...

 

Comment by Tonya Wynn on October 19, 2012 at 2:39pm

I'm a Georgia 'girl', born and reared in Georgia.  Have been a nonbeleiver in the bullshit since a 4 or 5 yr old.  Knew no one really understood the crap that they tried to preach to me.  Have had several suicide attempts myself.  Thankfully, I failed at those, too.  But, I read a few books and got mad at the right people, and less mad at myself!  I became pro-active and tried to give up the victim mentality.  We are all victims of somethig, but many need to pro-actively learn how to avoid being a victim.  Religion makes us think that we are more holy if we suffer.  Bullshit!  Please feel free to contact me anytime.  I know that it is 100X harder on a black southern er than on, say, a white male yankee. 

    Have ya' been to the black atheist group here?  Please do.  I'll make ya' feel so much more accepted and less alone.  That is what I benefit most from at AtheistNexus..feeling accepted.

Comment by Shawn Brown on October 18, 2012 at 12:41am

Now that you prayer does nothing, I think it's time for some self-reflections and to hold yourself accountable for you life. Such as if a door closes go look for another. That's what I do. I do not worry about stuff I can not control. What's the point anyway.

As for your job situation, you should find out what you really want to do (keeping your back in mind). Keep it realistic but do not sell yourself short. Set your goals, break them into smaller goals if they're too big. Such as if a goal will require multiple steps or several months or years to accomplish. 

I'm a black man, and I grew up in the church (out west not the south). I was a religious up until my late 20's. I even looked into the nation of islam. When I was in college I use to pray before exams, but realized my grades reflected the effort and understanding of the material. That understanding was my first step of realizing that I'm responsible for my own life. Prayer only can offer emotional comfort. It will not deliver anything else (job, good grades, a spouse, etc.)

So lift your head up and take charge of your life. Dont dwell on the negative things. Learn from them and move on.

Comment by Regina M on October 17, 2012 at 8:30pm

We don't have a church, but we do have meet-ups. Try going to this site: http://www.meetup.com/ and see if there's an atheist group close to you.

Depression is a bitch, I've been there too. I'm glad to hear you're getting treatment for it. I hope that you're not just getting medication, but also some counseling. If not, please look into it. It really helps to talk to someone impartial. I know it's hard to switch your world view over from "someone's out there so life has meaning" to "nothing out there, does life have meaning?" In between looking for a job, can you volunteer somewhere? make a connection to others? Make small steps. But it all comes down to this: we only get one go round on this silly little planet. Why not make the most of it?

I hope you find help here. This is a good group

Comment by Samuel Muriithi on October 17, 2012 at 8:02am

Don't kill yourself. Youre an atheist now which means you realize that when it ends IT ENDS no do overs no glowing winged chariots, nothing so you owe it to yourself to make the most of it. You stopped praying now you can get up and try to find a way to better yourself.

Comment by roland707 on October 16, 2012 at 10:33pm

I'm not black, but I am in the south. I know how ingrained religion is in the culture and how atheism or even being catholic or jewish is considered weird by everyone, and can get a person (even a big ol german-anglo person) discriminated against. It's fuckin hard and lonely. This site can seriously help with the loneliness. 

You are not being punished for not praying hard enough. Just like people in New Orleans with hurricanes. They pray like a Mutha and get hammered anyway. Prayer does nada. You know it. Nobody is hearing that stuff. It's wasting brain power.

"There is no spiritual daddy out there to help me. I have to be responsible for myself."  This idea has made me improve in every conceivable way over the last two years. Don't kill yourself Leonard. This is our only chance. Stay around to do something good for someone else. 

Good luck to you man.

BTW- I have a brother in your same predicament. Work injury made him almost crippled. He's on SSI. No choice. He's atheist, too. He's getting by. He's been that way for over ten years. 

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