Don't make any sudden moves - you don't want to anger them

I've noticed an interesting trend in the rhetoric about, well, rhetoric - as it relates to speaking up and speaking out.

I was in a band years ago - an acid jazz band (for wont of a better term) and we were in the 'green room' at the club we were playing when I noticed they were pumping in really awful eighties disco. One of the singers, Yva, was this Peruvian pixie dyke with a full on beotch attitude and the voice of a goddess. In the room was a leather clad gay kid - a friend of hers. In any case, I said something like: 'What the fuck am I listening to? How'm I supposed to keep my fucking mojo up listening to this disco shit!" Immediately, the boy starts to cry and Yva starts reading me the riot act on how I had just insulted his "people's" music!

Listen, this was pretty surreal 'cause Yva is about 4'7" and this kid was inches taller than me. Yet, he was almost in a fetal position weeping and Yva hates disco - so I guess her 'people' were different from his. Still, while it was really not fun to piss Yva off I told her to fuck off and she took a swing at me.

Hey, I wasn't trying to insult the kid. I might have asked him what I said and even apologized if I hurt his feelings somehow. Probably, I would have given him some crap with that apology because, ultimately, he was being a wuss - which wasn't about him being gay - just a wuss. But once Yva got all hotheaded and violent, I wasn't about to back off. The music was shit and was fucking with my mojo. I had to go back on stage and make sax riffs up on the spot - cause that's what jazz is - and I didn't need that saccharine crap in my head. And, besides, ultimately I had every right to my opinion and no one gets to control that - with threats or wussy cry tactics.

Pissing off Muslims or anyone else just because I'm willing to say that religion is shit - clearly an opinion - one unconcerned with winning friends - is, frankly, their frikkin' problem. It isn't bigotry, It isn't racism. It isn't intolerance. It isn't militancy. It's a frikkin' opinion - about something they espouse - not something in their genetic makeup they can't control. Crying or threatening violence because of my 'disrespect' or 'insensitivity' warrants I stand up for myself.

At the end of the day, despite the fact that I have no faith - apparently I have deeper convictions. Someone else's opinion of atheism doesn't threaten my atheism. Why is it so damn easy to threaten someone's faith?

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Comment by Howard S. Dunn on May 26, 2010 at 4:01pm
Yeah - David Byrne go this start there because the scene was, ironically, more accepting of almost anything far enough outside of the mainstream.
Comment by Jason Spicer on May 25, 2010 at 1:05pm
Talking Heads were punk? WTF?

Howard, it truly pisses me off when people cry bigotry when their faith is being attacked. It's not bigotry if the attribute is optional, like a belief. Particularly when the belief hurts people.
Comment by Howard S. Dunn on May 25, 2010 at 9:28am
John - wow - a sensitive punk. Having gone to HS with some of the real mcCoy - the kind that thought dancing and bloodletting were like peanut butter and jelly - I know they would have kicked her ass.

Look - your sister-in-law is being a passive aggressive manipulator - even if she doesn't think so. Sometimes it is the only way that someone who, otherwise, feels terribly vulnerable can gain even the illusion of control. In a very small child, you need to be comforting - but not, necessarily, accommodating. Probably, someone was too accommodating when she was young. So, not having to accept things and deal has made her less capable of confronting stress. Take that for what it's worth. It won't actually help you out. Just be sure to know it really is her and not you. Meanwhile, a person has to decide whether they want a less pain in the ass relationship with a family member and compromise their own behavior in trade for peace - or just let them cry. But don't be an enabler. Apparently, it's making her sick.
Comment by Jaume on May 25, 2010 at 5:10am
Because deep down, religious faith is the shakiest of all convictions, and that's why fundies are so eager to fight for it.

The captain of a ship Jean Bart had just captured allegedly said to the famous corsair:
- You Frenchmen fight for money, we Englishmen fight for honor!
And Bart replied:
- Dear sir, men always fight for what they lack the most!

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