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DEFINITIVE PROOF THAT GOD EXISTS

When the octuplets were born, I posted the following excerpt from Mirror Reversal on a right-wing website. I figured they'd enjoy it since the piece supports their believe system. I really just wanted to find out their reactions.

The comments were mixed, mostly from "You gotta be kiddin', and "Are you crazy?" to "I like your reasoning," and "Yes, babies are miracles, God bless 'em."

Let me make it clear, I'm not a sexest. Wayne is a composite of the kids I grew up with in NYC. The misspellings and malapropisms are intentional.

Wayne pulled his chair around to face Josh. “Gimme that ole time religion, right Josh” sang Wayne, with a forced smile. “He can keep all that evolution garbage. I mean…” he paused to think of a good rubric to help explain things to his less educated employee. “Let’s say you’re walking in the middle of the Arizona Desert. You’re just walking along daydreamin’, and all of a sudden you come across this elegant, diamond-studded wristwatch – one of those Malvados or Carters. So you pick it up and look at it. Inspect it, sort of… It’s pretty evident that it didn’t get there by itself, right? I mean… the sand and rocks couldn’t just conglomerate and form this beautiful object dart all by itself. Somebody had to put it there. Somebody had to make the fuckin’ thing, right? It’s the same way with human beans. There has to be a Great Designer.”

He smiled again, this time pleased with the eloquence of his argumentation. He thought of another example, a better one to explain to Josh, because it dealt with the birds and the bees.

“Or take sex. Here’s another good example: Let’s say you meet this chick. And you really dig ‘er. And you fall in love with the bitch. So you decide to get married and have a family, like the Good Book says you should. So you stick your dick in, and it feels real good in there, right? And you wiggle it all about in there. And the more you wiggle it, the better it feels. And then… nine months later a baby plops out! I mean… what more proof d’ya need there’s a God. That’s literally a fuckin’ miracle!”.

Josh nodded in complete agreement. Rev. Passwater couldn’t have explained it better.

So c'mon everybody, dig into your pockets and help out those eight tiny miracles in California. Remember the more voices lifted in prayer, the more pleasing it is to the Lord.

Tags: miracles, mirror, octuplets, reversal, tiny

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Comment by Richard Goscicki on March 26, 2009 at 8:14am: LittlePants, attitudes have to change or the whole Earth is in trouble. The world population in 1909 was 1.6 billion compared to 6.8 now. That's a quadruple in the century, in spite of WWI, the great flu of 1919, WWII and AIDS. The growth curve barely dented in the formidable years. How about the woman in Arkansas that just gave birth to miracle #18?

That's part of why I'm so down on religion.

Comment by Richard Goscicki on March 5, 2009 at 5:56am: These people have to realize that the earth is at its carrying capacity right now. There are millions starving or living like rats in slums. Religion is causing the destruction of the planet and unless there's an enlightenment, humans will be killing one another for a sip of clean water. How about the woman in Arkansas that just gave birth to number 18? They're miracles all right, miracles of stupidity.

Comment by Starless Amok on March 5, 2009 at 1:28am: I wonder if they still call it 'the miracle of life' if the conception took place in a dumpster between a prostitute and a crack head?