My father has gone. I do not know what will happen next. I will miss him. He was 79 years old and possibly the most amazing person in my life.

He was generous and kind and he never knew a stranger and he is now gone and I am feeling a great deal of pain right now. Dad was cremated so we had a viewing and a memorial service for him. I did a short eulogy. It had to be short because I knew that my composure would last only a short while.

The day was a day of tears and laughter and I was usually the source of the laughter because it is so hard for me to see the tears. I think Dad would have been happy to know that we could all still have a laugh in our grief.

I had a hard time writing the eulogy because it was so hard to come up with something that would define my father's life. He was a great influence on me as well as my sisters and we all loved him dearly. That is what makes it so difficult to sum up a life in a few minutes. It is truly an impossible task. I feel as if I could have written a biography that would have been as long as the Lord of the Rings trilogy. He was such a great dad.

There are so many ways to say goodbye to someone. I am not sure I did such a great job. I had only a few hours to get it right and I feel like I did okay only.

The service was officiated by a pastor. My parents were christians but not the annoying type. They quietly believed. They taught us all about Jesus and god and all the other stuff. I am the only atheist in the family and it suits because I have always been the "black" sheep so to speak. I was always questioning authority and it was a source of consternation for my parents but they loved me anyway.

Bye Dad...I will love you forever!

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Tags: death, funeral, parents

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