Blood Moon Chapter 3 rewritten
I was dissatisfied with the existing chapters, the story wasn’t bad but the writing was terrible so I rewrote them

A man ran though the burnt out remains of a house. His hair brown, his skin tan, his cloths covered in dry blood. “Yemima! Illean!” The man called but no one answered. The man stopped in the middle of the remains he beheld a burned and dismembered corpse of a woman. As he looked at the corpse visions of him self attacking the woman in the burning house flashed before his eyes. As the visions continued he saw him self tern to a young girl standing in a door way, covered in blood and holding a short, blood coated sward he said: “Come here Illean! I have gifts for you!”
The old man awoke screaming “Illean!” He was on the land steamer heading towards Alumpus.
[...]

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Tags: adamant, blood, city, fiction, literature, moon, steal, steam engine, steamer, stories, More…story, writing

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