I just recently moved back to the midwest after having spent about 10 years in major cities around the world.  I have enjoyed being single with the occasional girlfriend for most of that time.  But the reason I enjoyed it so much, was due to the city life in which I was accustomed.  There were always other single people that wanted to go out and shoot pool, or go bowling, and there were always the prospects of meeting single women the same age with a lot of the attributes I was looking for.  But now that I am 33 and living in Cape Girardeau, things are a LOT different.

 

In the almost 5 years that I have been back to SE Missouri I am having reverse culture shock.  The majority of the friends that I had that still live here are married with kids, and predominately bible thumpers.  I tried to fit in with them and rekindle some of those friendships, but now I realize that it isn't possible.  We have nothing in common anymore.  Their lives revolve around their families and whatever church they go to.  So where does that leave us single heathens?  How do we go about finding a partner to share our lives with?  

 

On almost every date I have had in the last 5 years, the topic of religion always comes up, and not by me.  And, of course, I tell the truth right from the start, which ultimately ends the date before it even has a chance to start.  I don't lecture on the subject, and I don't judge people for what they believe in.  Personally I could give a rats ass if you want to worship a giant man in the sky or even a dog turd, but apparently others don't have the same take on it as I do.

 

So again I ask...where does someone like me find a woman that is even remotely compatible.  I have tried the bar scene, and other than a few drunken old perverts, I now find myself the oldest person in the room and a bit weirded out about prospect of hitting on someone in their early 20's.  Not to say that I haven't, but after the initial attraction (and hopefully some bed-time Olympics) there is nothing there but a shell of a person spewing out the garbage that their parents or professors tell them.

 

I have even tried online dating (don't judge!) with minimal success.  Take the site Okcupid.com for example.  If I do a search for women in my age group with no children (Sorry, not looking to join an already established family) without selecting any type of religious background withing a 50 mile radius I get exactly 25 results.  Now after you filter out the women with..ummm..."large" body types (I'm physically fit, is it too much to ask for the same?), you are now down to 9.  After viewing those 9 profiles and filter out the Jesus freaks there are now 5 possible choices.  Only 5!  So you message all 5 for shits and giggles, but only 1 ever responds, you go out with that person and end up staying with them for awhile, not because you are that interested in her, but you come to the realization that this is about as good as it's ever going to get here (this is a story for another time).  So now you have literally eliminated the internet dating option as a match making tool.

 

I guess I'm just bitter and needed to rant.  If anyone actually reads this and has any ideas, feel free to shoot me an email, or shoot me in the head, either way.

Views: 9

Tags: Dating, Single

Comment

You need to be a member of Atheist Nexus to add comments!

Join Atheist Nexus

Comment by Steve on January 20, 2011 at 7:49pm

Chris Rock once said he got married because he didn't want to be "The old guy in the club. You know ,not really old. Just too old to be in the club." 

  You are probably not looking to meet someone to marry so the pickings are bound to get slim over time. Most people just settle out.  My son just turned 30. He met his wife on one of those dating sites. But that's what he was looking to do. 

 

Comment by MCT on January 20, 2011 at 1:03pm
Preaching to the choir, dude. I gotta get the F' outta northwest Ohio! And off those stupid e-dating sites. They're useless, imo. I think I got it worse. I'm 36 and I do judge people, ad infinitum. Not really a people person, can't abide theists and people with post-modern, skeptical, relativistic, phantasmagorical, compassion-based or spiritual worldviews. I'm screwed. I would like to mate with and have the company of an intelligent, atheist, egoistic, driven hot chick. I have been told that opposites attract and that one does not live happily with someone with the same convictions. I say BS. It's cool, I'll just wait a few decades and make myself a baby, heck, and a mate as well.

© 2014   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: Richard Haynes.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service