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And So God Needs An Ark.

Saw a "documentary" about Noah's stupid ark story and I never thought it before but I must wonder why the architect of the entire universe would even need an ark??? the episode raised more questions than it answered, of course.

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Comment by Karla on March 22, 2011 at 11:26pm: I love how 8 family members re-populated the entire planet, don't ya just love that one?

Comment by Explonential on December 21, 2010 at 6:33am: And where did he put the termites?

Comment by Jim DePaulo on July 22, 2009 at 7:35pm: One thing I discovered is the writers of the holy writ were, not only raving loons and liars, they were prolific and unabashed plagiarist. The entire bible of wonders and gee whizzes is just a bunch of weird, older, irrational bullshit gleaned from the Assyrians to the Zoroastrians and cobbled together into the most confusing and unbelievable book ever written. AND PEOPLE BELIEVE IT! (of course most haven’t read it)

All that which defines religion is the antithesis of that which defines civil society.

Comment by Greywolf on July 20, 2009 at 1:30am: God had Noah build the Ark so he and his family could experience first-hand what the poop of all the different species of animals (and insects) smelled like! Learned how to differentiate between Tyrannosaurus Rex poop and that of a Koala Bear's, they did. Came in handy when playing "Guess What Animal Just Pooped?" during their 40 day and night fun-filled stay aboard the HMS "Ark".

How the Wombats, Kangaroos, and Koala Bears were able to swim all the way to Australia from Turkey without food is another one of "God's Mysteries".

Gee, what a smart dude God is, isn't he?

Comment by Dave Rogers on July 19, 2009 at 11:04pm: How did Noah get all the indigenous species of animals off Madagascar, seeing he didn't have a boat yet to get them, and then get them all back, seeing the boat was stuck now on a mountain top? The utter and total nonsense, (not to mention the heartless destruction of everything), of the Flood story alone should render the Bible as the greatest hoax and most macabre fable of all time. How and why any Christian can get any moral lesson from it, boggles the mind.

Comment by unholyroller on July 19, 2009 at 6:10pm: Carver..I also had questions about how a small group of people could re-build civilization among the rotting corpses of their friends and family......not to mention all of the dead animals. I recall getting answers from various grown-ups (haha) that god in his mercy caused sediment to cover all of the bodies. So.....where did all of the new plant life come from? No mention of that in the ark story. god caused it all to re-grow. It's amusing now to think back on all of the tap-dancing that went on when faced with unanswerable questions. Then came the inevitable smack up side the head and the stern warning of what would happen if I continued to question god. Didn't take me long to learn to keep my questions to myself.

Comment by unholyroller on July 19, 2009 at 6:00pm: Kristy...LSHTARDMF....I had pretty much the same ideas about how babies came about. And this is supposed to better than sex education? The fundies are truly FUBAR.

Comment by Jim DePaulo on July 19, 2009 at 10:13am: I can't figure out why he needed a flood in the first place. Why didn't he just "uncreate" the transgressors and get on with it. After all that water got sucked back into the earth can you imagine the mess left behind - rotting vegetation and corpses all over the place ? - yuck!

Comment by Chrys Stevenson on July 19, 2009 at 9:13am: Oh, and I also thought that when a woman was pregnant she just got bigger and bigger and bigger until, ultimately, the baby just exploded out of her belly button. Now that's an idea God could have used, too!

Comment by Chrys Stevenson on July 19, 2009 at 9:10am: Joshua wrote: Why not just make our wives get pregnant automagically the moment we are wed in "holy matrimony"? No fuss. No rules to break. Everything under perfect control.

ROFL! This is actually what I thought happened when I was 10 years old. I knew that only married women could have babies (hey, it was the 60s!) and I'd been to weddings and seen the bride and groom taken off to sign the register after saying their vows. I put two and two together and figured that when they were back there with the minister, he pushed some kind of secret button on the lady that allowed her to get pregnant. Now if I, as a 10 year old, could come up with that, why couldn't God?