This is a little tribute to George Carlin. My book is dedicated to him. I thought of this while listening to one of his old routines. As “human beans” we have to laugh at and accept our weird human condition.

With this in mind, I offer a PARAMIOGRAPHY ON A SMELLY THEME

A fart in time saves nine.

You can lead a hog to a pigsty but you can’t make him stink.

One good fart deserves another. (Familiar Bulgarian saying)

Let the smeller beware. (Oft heard maxim in the Roman Forum)

A new fart smells clean. (Heard in the Garment Center, NYC)

When the czar farts it bursts with pride. (Old Russian saying)

A smelly fart requires many words. (Favorite proverb of Oliver Cromwell)

A stuffy nose smells no farts. (Heard at Scotland Yard)

Your fart’s smell is a good mirror. (Irish saying)

A house without a fart is the house of a scoundrel. (Portuguese proverb)

A man is not fragrant just because he never had a chance to stink.

A penny for your farts. (Canadian business deal)

A prudent man does not make a fart his calling card. (Heard in the offices at Tiffany’s, Fifth Avenue)

A single Russian fart outsmells the Polish nation. (Old Russian saying)

A pig believes everybody farts. (Bedouin adage)

A fart should be smelled from behind. (Swedish proverb)

After smelling the fart of a Greek, check your nose. (Albanian saying)

A fart in Germany is a rose in Rome. (Traditional German proverb)

A fart without a smell is folly. (Latvian lamentation)

Beggars should not blow farts. (Oft-heard admonition on Wall Street)

Better to open a window than curse the smell. (The wisdom of Mumbai)

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Tags: Carlin, George, aristopus, atheism, gas, passing, proverbs, useful

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Comment by Richard Goscicki on March 31, 2009 at 11:11am
Thanks for the reply. I don't know what to make of this piece myself. I've always been a little weird, so sometimes I fail to take people’s sensibilities into account. I laughed out loud at a few of these, (the ones about the czar and leaving one’s calling card) so at least it’s funny to me. I can just picture the village in “The Fiddler on the Roof” saying this at community gettogethers.

At least you learned the word “paramiography.”

About the kindle, I don’t have it in the system but I’ll check with Amazon and see what I can do.

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