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#68 The Westboro Baptist Church

Prepare thyself, he who reads this, to tremble and quake before the Incredible Word of God, as written by THE LORD HIMSELF!

DAMN THE WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH! They spend all their time making Me look like some kind of judgmental monster. What a bunch of a-holes!

They go around protesting and holding up signs telling people about all the things I supposedly hate. WHO ARE THEY TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT I HATE? I CAN DO THAT MYSELF!

Westboro Baptist claims I hate fags, which is true, but not in the way they mean it. Sure, anal sex makes Me furious, but I don’t hate gay-fags, I hate stupid douche-fags like the Jonas Brothers! I love gay people and have many gay friends. Why is this so hard to understand?

They also say I hate America. BULLSHIT! I don’t hate America, I just hate democracy! BUT I LOVE AMERICA! I love America so much it’s the only country I have citizenship in.

They even say that when planes crash, I, The Almighty God, laugh! What a horrible thing to say! Ok, well that one’s actually true. But have you ever seen a plane crash? Trust Me, It’s frigging hilarious!

Anyway, these Westboro Baptist assholes REALLY make Me look bad. I’ve had to pay over $3 million dollars to publicists in the last 10 years alone just to handle damage control on My Divine Image. And for what? People think I’M SOME KIND OF INSANE MONSTER because all these fanatic retards do is embarrass Me!

Read the rest at Stuff God Hates

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Comment by Clarence Dember on March 16, 2009 at 3:38pm: Say God, how about some lightning bolts once in a while. It starting to look like those prisoners on that fundie farm aren't even afraid of their own shadows no more!
Cla

Comment by Clarence Dember on March 16, 2009 at 3:35pm: Even better: how about cooking me up a smart phone where blogging is easier...?

Comment by Clarence Dember on March 12, 2009 at 3:00am: Say God, how about some lightning oats once in a while. It starting to look like those prisoners aren't even afraid of their shadows!
Cla

Comment by unholyroller on March 11, 2009 at 11:28pm: Maybe You should round them all up and put them on a plane....to Oklahoma City where they think is fun to come to and protest soldier's funerals. Now THAT would be hilarious!