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Comment by The Nerd on November 6, 2009 at 8:32pm

Aww, thanks! :)

Comment by Billy Deaton on November 6, 2009 at 8:30pm

Have I mentioned how much I love The Nerd and her posts. Is she new? If there was an AN rookie of the year award I'm voting The Nerd.

Comment by Aaron S. (USA) on November 6, 2009 at 7:42pm

That article was very informative, Nerd ^^ From what I've heard, some versions of the injection method have been approved in India, but haven't made it through the EPA yet. Whenever we do get a version of male birth control here, it'll be great, especially for those women that can't take the pill. It'd also be good just in general, since two forms of birth control are virtually always better than one.

Comment by The Nerd on November 6, 2009 at 7:31pm

And yet Big Pharma refuses to market the male birth control pill! http://health.howstuffworks.com/male-bc-pill.htm

Comment by Aaron S. (USA) on November 6, 2009 at 7:28pm

@Jacqueline:
Your story is, as your posts usually are, very emotionally provocative. I can't really comment on that story, though, since I don't know any of the surrounding circumstances nor how representative it is. I still feel like I have to stand by my previous comments: while unfortunately the situation isn't going to be perfect any time soon, most of the contraceptive options available aren't things that men have much say on.

Comment by The Nerd on November 6, 2009 at 6:43pm

Very good thoughts, Aaron. You're right, there simply isn't an optimal situation here, no matter how we slice it.

Comment by Aaron S. (USA) on November 6, 2009 at 6:40pm

Well, sure, but 18 years of child support (or even forced marriage - I'm not sure what kind of "responsibility" is being required here, since it hasn't been spelled out) doesn't seem very fair, either. My point wasn't that it's all women's fault if someone gets pregnant, just that, for instance, if a condom breaks, there's not much men can do about it, whereas there are plenty of options for women. The ball's kind of in women's court.

Now, if we were talking about, say, sharing the costs of an abortion or something, that sounds perfectly reasonable to me. But 18 years of child support because someone else decided to make a baby out of my sperm?

Unfortunately, evolution just didn't design things to be perfectly fair. Things are the way they are because they functioned, not because they were the moral ideal. Even without child support, for example, men still basically don't have any say as to whether they become fathers or not, except to never have sex, which isn't fair in an ideal sense. The alternative, however, is women losing control of their bodies, which is even less fair, so we accept the less bad option. Currently, there just doesn't seem much more that we can do, until reproduction is done artificially or people are capable of choosing their sex.

Now, if a man's made some sort of commitment, like marriage, and after a couple years of having children decides it's not all it's cracked up to be, it seems fair to require men to pay for child support. If the situation is a one-night stand, however, and the male in question has offered to pay for half of the cost of an abortion operation, and she decides against his will to make him a father, I don't feel like he has much responsibility there. He's made his wishes clear, and while she has every right to control her body and her life, her rights do not extend to her partner's life.

Comment by Aaron S. (USA) on November 6, 2009 at 6:17pm

No, I'm just asking - what do you want men to do? The statement that was made was that contraception is a shared responsibility, but men don't have any say in the available (short-term) options except for condoms. I'm not saying that women are trying to trick men or something, just pointing out that most options are things that men don't have much choice on. It just seemed slightly unfair to tell men that it's our responsibility when there's really not that much (beyond a condom and abstinence) that we can do to prevent it. For better or worse, the choice to reproduce is currently pretty much in women's hands - and asking for responsibility where there isn't choice doesn't seem very fair.

Comment by Aaron S. (USA) on November 6, 2009 at 5:22pm

I tend to agree with the other posters here that it's just the female form of "he should have kept his dick in his pants." Of course, it's much easier to tell when a woman's pregnant than when a man's been sleeping around, so women might get the brunt of this sort of thing.

However, I do disagree a little bit that contraception is fully shared. A man has really no idea if the woman he's with is on the pill or has been taking it regularly, and certainly men don't have any say in whether or not she chooses to abort. Condoms are a bit different, and it'd seem fair that that be more the man's responsibility since he's the one wearing it, but even there it ought to be obvious to his partner whether he's wearing one or not. It's hard for me to imagine someone being able to just lie about it and get away with it, unless it's really dark and you don't know what rubber feels like.

Comment by Sonny Mobley on November 6, 2009 at 12:35pm

I would only see it as sexist if, for instance, a girl was being solely blamed for her unwanted pregnancy when it would damn well be the mans fault as well.

In the case of my seventeen year-old friend who just called to tell me the 'good news' of her pregnancy with a man who is nearly as old as I am I pretty much told her something similar ('m all about self responsibility.. it is my creed) and then requested the number of the guy because I have some things I wish to say to him... and they're far meaner than the disappointment I expressed to her. Of course she refused. ...

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