Atheist Men to Atheist Women

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Comment by Sicile on October 13, 2010 at 11:24pm

I will say the odds are better in the atheist camps. It's like going to Alaska in the 70s! :) However, I still seem to be single.... humm....

Comment by Earther on October 3, 2010 at 8:41pm

It is not really too off topic if you stem the importance of creating a world of opportunity for all and not for the few. I enjoy being fruitful when I can and having like minded people who make laws, keep our health, build our houses and teach our children is important.

Comment by david perry on October 3, 2010 at 12:01pm

That rather brings the discussion full circle.
That one has certain prerequisites for what they require from any relationship is of course a normal state of affairs so to speak. There isn't much else to add.
One thing though, about caring whether ones doctor is religious. That can make a difference especially if one is a woman(or not, one scenario comes to mind- what if something immediately useful comes out of stem cell research and say a devoutly catholic doctor refuses to provide that treatment?) and that doctor has religious reasons for refusing to perform certain procedures. Medical ethics and Religion can be a very important issue. (might be a good discussion topic on it's own someplace on the Nexus)
But that's something which is getting way off topic.
Bon Chance Earther.

Comment by Earther on October 3, 2010 at 10:00am

Welcome all of you to the conversation and thanks for your thoughts. I want to comment on David's comment about his questions to my original blog question. I think my reason for asking about how many women are actually atheist compared to men is not to put up my "Atheist Single Man" flag, so to speak. My reason is because I think it is important for me to learn how others cope with what I see as a real challenge. In my case the challenge is finding out how to choose a relationship within my reach. Some people choose to accept having a relationship with a person who does not share the same belief and also having children in that relationship that may or may not result in their beliefs being the same as yours. Some people do not think it is a problem and some do. If I get sick, I do not care if my doctor is religious or not, I care if the doctor will make me well or not. In finding a relationship though, I do have concerns in my future partner's ideas about life and what the outcome of our actions may be to the next generation. The challenge of selecting a partner with in the boundaries of being 1. Woman, because that is my preference 2. Atheist, becuase I think I would quarrel less and find more in common -- is like sharing a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich with a million people. This leads into the next observable question. Why are there seemingly less women who are like minded in belief and why is that a problem for me. I am sure there are those of you who share these thoughts and I believe your thoughts are valid to my decision making. Kelly M says there should be more opportunities for us to meet and socialize. Most recently I had a woman comment in person to me about being single "do you go to church, you can meet girls there", I told her that I was a non-believer and do not go to church and she said "Oh, you are looking for the wrong kind of woman then" and I replied "no, I am looking for the right kind of woman" and her reply was, " well, I guess you could marry a Christian woman" I laughed and left it at that. This is the kind of obstical that I am faced with everyday. If I do find a woman who is atheist and is a wonderful "match" for me, then wow, that is amazing. It is amazing for anyone who finds a compatible match that produces a relationship that has lasting power. My last point is, does this all matter? Does it matter that atheist have very few people to choose partners in? Well, that is life isn't it? How do we as people who find being atheist important for some reason raise the next generation. Personally, I do wish there were as many atheist woman out there as christian women. I came up with the A/N ration by the member search page, I entered in F and got a number and then M and got a number and made a quick calculation. It is approximately 2 to 1. Other than that I have seen some general calculations of statistics on the internet, and yes - people do lie, people also don't say who they are and keep it private. I think the woman I would like to live with is one that does not hide from being a non-believer but also not one who politicizes it to the point of it bringing pain and suffering. I try not to stir up problems that can distract what is important to survival and mental ease. The underlying belief of a person while trying to survive and have mental ease is the root of that person. I find it difficult to settle for a relationship that does not have some of these basic qualities. With all this said, I have still not made any final decisions on what is best for me.

Comment by Kelly M on October 1, 2010 at 8:32pm

I dunno....I'm an atheist and I live in the bible belt, so that makes it doubly hard to find available like minded men. I think we need to have more social events and get togethers. I know right now in east TN where I live, we are trying to get together and more active. I know that is kind of a lame answer, but I definitely think there needs to be more opportunities for us all to meet and socialize. I think women have the same frustration as men do. It's hard to actually meet a fellow atheist, and couple that with finding one you are attracted to, and we have an exponentially more difficult task than most folks......

Comment by Phil on September 30, 2010 at 7:43pm

I knew you were out there. As I said, my experience is that there are as many no-woo females as males. And we're findable. Where do we concentrate? A combination of tip-offs - politics, reading habits, hobbies, type of work or college major, postponement of or avoidance of marriage and children, choice of residence - can bring you together. It was a pleasure to find intelligent women who were happy to find me. 50:50.

Comment by Phil on September 30, 2010 at 6:28pm

Most people would call probably me a militant or "new" atheist. I'm not an apologist and I don't socialize with the religious. Always have been one. I live with an atheist. Don't set fire to things though.

Comment by david perry on September 30, 2010 at 5:55pm

@Phil: My response is "ditto". Politicians pay attention to polls, most people don't. Men are far more likely to join things, and women are smarter and quieter about it.
I haven't yet encountered any militant atheists on the Nexus.
Know any?

Comment by david perry on September 30, 2010 at 5:46pm

Earther, so what if the ratio of men to women on the Nexus is 2 to 1, what I was trying to get at was the idea that it may not the same for the population in general. You can take all the surveys you want, but as Dr. House says: "people lie". And I'm certain(without hard data of course)that there are a lot more people who will not admit to at least some doubts about god, and religion in general for any number of reasons. If you're looking for a date on the Nexus, you might be in the wrong place. Not only that, how did you arrive at that ratio on the Nexus? A lot of people here use screen names anyway, so unless you have admin status here, I don't see how you can be so sure.
Part of the reason many of us are on the Nexus in the first place is to address the issue of how people in general are treated by organized religion. I fail to see how gender issues here are that much different than in the world at large. Men are joiners, women less so. Any number of generalizations a sociological poll can make are simply that, generalizations.
The people on this site are not a representative sample of the population, it isn't Facebook for non-believers. The ratio of men to women who are proclaimed atheists is 2 to 1, so the survey says. We've all been to church for the most part, I for one don't recall there being a crowd of single guys in a set of pews off to the side. The middle east is another story, but is irrelevant to the issue at hand. You've noticed a dearth of eligible female atheists.
So what?
You deal with what is, not what you wish it was.

Comment by Phil on September 30, 2010 at 5:33pm

I've never been unable to find atheist women. The women I've known, however, generally, wouldn't be likely to join A/N. One or two were militant, but most weren't. They avoided the unpleasant and made smart quiet choices. Men seem to get on the internet and hoot. Women seem less inclined to. I'd guess a 50/50 split.

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