Dear Religious Cult Member:

One:
I do not want to join your cult.

Two:
I do not care that you do not like being told that you are in a cult. You
are in one, deal with it.

Three:
Your belief in talking donkeys, angels, demons, a man surviving three days in the belly of a
whale, magic underwear, someone walking on water, living to be 900 years
old, someone rising from the dead, a flaming talking bush, giants or
the absurd story of Noah’s Ark, not only confirm to me that you are in a
cult, it speaks also to your intelligence. Regardless your station in
life, whether you are a Doctor, Engineer, Teacher or even call yourself a
"Scientist", if you tell me that you believe in such absurdities I will
NOT "respect" your intellect. I will NOT "respect" your beliefs.

Four:
Most importantly, while you stand in front of me with that awestruck,
arrogant and disbelieving look on your face, consider yourself warned.
Do not attempt to indoctrinate my children into your cult. If you do I
will likewise afford myself the same opportunity to indoctrinate your
children and I am certain, (considering your professed propensity to
believe in ridiculous fairy tales and ancient tribal superstitions),
that YOU do not have the mental capacity to unravel the knowledge that I
will supplant upon those fertile minds.

At this point we should be perfectly clear that I do NOT WANT TO JOIN YOUR FREAKING CULT. Please
leave my property.

Views: 4

Tags: Cult, Dear, Member, Religious

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Comment by Loren Miller on July 19, 2010 at 8:40am
[Sound of a pump-action shotgun being cycled]

"Is THAT clear enough for you?"
Comment by Jim DePaulo on July 19, 2010 at 8:13am
We'll be back next week with the donkey and we'll talk.
Comment by Sicile on July 17, 2010 at 3:55pm
So that's a "maybe" on the whole cult thing? ;)

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