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Rare type of gastric (stomach) cancer.   Health plan is slow about scheduling  the biopsy - will not know what to expect until then.  Surgery for certain.  Maybe chemotherapy.  80% chance for malignancy based on size - CT scan and endoscopy.  Size / shape is like an Idaho russet potato.

Somewhere I read, there can be denial, grief, bargaining, anger.  I feel none of that.  Just, it is what it is.  It's a notable moment, I guess.  But not like when I saw my parents' decline as real, or when I worked in a toxic work environment.  Those were horrible.  This....  just is.

Diagnosis came due to an episode of abdominal pain.  Searing, it dropped me to the floor.  Today, pain is not severe.  Which I'm glad about.  Burps, changing position, moderately deep inhalation are very painful.  Expect to be back to work on Thurs.  Apparently the sudden pain occurred due to hemorrhage, into the tumor.

I looked at my belly in the mirror today.  I think there might be a little bulge over the left upper quadrant.  That's where it's still tender. Not sure.

Maybe a few weeks to get the biopsy.  Stupid health plan.  Dumb, making someone wait so long.  But meanwhile, just continue doing the best I can.

Will update here when I know more.  Life has taken me many places, physical, mental, emotional, experiential, relational.  Maybe this will be one more.

Meanwhile, I hope I'm not in surgery when the honeybees arrive.  The hive is ready for them.

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Comment by Daniel W on March 16, 2013 at 12:16pm

Randall asked about how I was doing - thought I would copy it here in the blog post.

I holding my own.  Appointment with surgeon for evaluation Mon.  Tues is appointment for biopsy.  They have to put me out for that.  If they are fast - big if - I could wind up in surgery next week.  Wild guess, 1 or 2 weeks.

...For a long time I've been trying to balance living in the moment, with preparing for a future tomorrow with something to look forward to and not regret, and learning from the past.  This is the same.  There have been a couple of "why bother" moments but not much.  Yesterday was an intense high-pressure work day.  Today Im a bit dizzy and tired.

Comment by roland707 on March 14, 2013 at 12:09am

Hope you get well soon, Sentient.

Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on March 12, 2013 at 11:59pm

Thanks for sharing the challenges of your life as well as the good things, Sentient Biped. Good thing you complained. Let us know how things are going. My heart goes out to you.

Comment by Daniel W on March 12, 2013 at 9:50pm
That's I hate dopiness not do pines. Damn autocorrect.
Comment by Daniel W on March 12, 2013 at 9:50pm
Thanks for all the comments. pain wise it's not that searing pain now but definitely painful. I'm avoiding opiates because I hate constipation and do pines even more. Getting by ok and working tomorrow.

I registered complaint with the health plan regarding waiting a few weeks for biopsy. Now it's scheduled for Tuesday. Better.
Comment by Idaho Spud on March 12, 2013 at 6:31pm

It is what it is.  I like your attitude Sentient.  

Whatever it is, hope you can keep the pain to a minimum and take care of your bees.

Comment by Randall Smith on March 12, 2013 at 7:54am

Crap. What a bummer. Perhaps it'll all turn out like my diagnosed colon cancer 10 years ago. (I had the same reaction as you--it is what it is.) After they cut me open, they found nothing. Said it was "colitis". I should have sued, but didn't. Honest mistake, I reckon. Anyway, hang in there and good luck. Keep us posted.

Comment by Luara on March 12, 2013 at 7:09am

Ouch! 

Somewhere I read, there can be denial, grief, bargaining, anger.  I feel none of that.

But you don't even know the prognosis yet.  Time for feelings later.

Maybe a few weeks to get the biopsy.

Can't you get it sooner somehow?  Time might be crucial in these things, medically.

Comment by Michael Penn on March 12, 2013 at 6:29am

Best of luck to you on that. I heard a few years ago that there was a certain type of aloe drink (pure aloe) that was good for that. Walmart even had it at the time. Personally, my cancer was basil cell. It was excised a few years ago and never came back. A black walnut sized growth behind my left ear, it's really not so serious a form of cancer. My family thought differently and felt sorry for me. I told them not to. It was no big deal. Later, I had a pea sized growth removed from my back. The doctor (a different one now) billed my insurance over $800.00 for that and it was a 5 minute job to remove it. I told him that in the 1980's it would simply be frozen off with liquid nitrogen - another 5 minute job. The doctor made a big deal out of the fact that it could be cancer. I told him "not to try and scare me with cancer." Once removed from my body, I wouldn't give a damn what it was!

You will need surgery and later some chemo follow ups. Your doctor will tell you that there's no proof aloe drinking does anything, but I had read it was even good for the pain. The problem is that I've forgotten the exact name of the aloe.

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