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Nails on the Blackboard

I try to spend time with my wife just by being in the same room. Just that little proximity leads to better communication, understanding and sometimes the equivalent of fingernails dragging over a blackboard.

She often watches shows not geared toward men with the word "Wives" in the title. If these "softer sex" shows have anything in common it is that they manage to put together groups of women with disparate personalities, a penchant for confrontational behavior, and back-biting.

Another thing they have in common is at least one woman with an irritating squeaky, screechy, whiney voice. First, where the hell do they find these voices which I term “the Kardashian modulation.” The only I can compare it with is the sound of little children talking, but with the cute removed. "The Shahs of Sunset" is another show with another "screecher" and she is every bit as irritating as the others.

I've become adept at ignoring all of the shows except for those piercing sandpaper scrapes over my ears making me howl like any canine within a five block radius. I'm open to new trends, styles or fads, but since when did it become fashionable to sound like a caterwauling siren on a 1957 police car?

I remember the "Valley Girl" nasality that made me want to vomit. This sounds like the "Valley Girl" with alto crotch rocket strapped to it. I am usually allowed to leave the room when it drones on and on, but sometimes I am working on my computer which numbs some of the irritation. Is it just me?

For the rest, instead of Aspirin, I've reserved a single .357 magnum bullet.

Tags: Kardashians, Voices, drawls, inflections, irritating

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Comment by Donald R Barbera on February 20, 2013 at 3:51pm: Jim, while I have a certain aversion to a Southern drawl, it can have its charm especially compared to the Kadashian screech. I don't see how a man could--never mind--I was about to say something about how could any many, but I realized the stupidity of what I was about to say.

Comment by Jim DePaulo on February 20, 2013 at 2:02pm: A woman's soft southern drawl common in the rural south has the ability to go from charming to alarming in a nano-second. ..... "bless your heart" .....

Comment by Donald R Barbera on February 20, 2013 at 1:08pm: I don't mind so much because I've got most of it tuned out except for those Kardashian Voices. Perhaps, the only other thing bothering me during those shows is being questioned about a show I am obviously not watching much less listening to, but she'll ask any way.

Comment by Dennis Michael Pennington on February 20, 2013 at 7:11am: I have similar problems with my wife. It all boils down to me "allowing her to be herself." It used to be a one way street, but after 8 years she is now starting to grant me the same favor.

Comment by Donald R Barbera on February 19, 2013 at 10:46pm: Save me! I hear it in the office in Texas with a Southern drawl. now that's irritating!!

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