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Dollar Store Combat Jesus--Prince of Armed, Wary Cease-Fires

This extraordinary representation of the Savior was discovered by the author’s son in a 99 Cent Only store in Vista, California. You can dig up all the medieval relics you want, stare at all the Shrouds of Wherever for as long as you like, or pay precious money for ancient Byzantine icons and you will never see an image of the Christ quite like this one.

First, consider his garments. He has wisely abandoned His traditional robes for an outfit that pulses with modernity; a Columbine-style trench coat worn over desert camis suitable for a warrior from his native Middle East. This is a Jesus that was born in a foxhole, not a stable. True, in His left hand he still holds the Dove of Peace, but look in His eyes. They are the eyes of a man who has seen one too many of His Apostles die face down in the mud.

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Comment by Richard Cahill on December 6, 2012 at 9:42pm: My first Freudian typo of the day...at least the first one that was noticed

Comment by Richard Cahill on December 6, 2012 at 9:15pm: It is most assuredly an automatic women of some kind, Loren. I did cover the possibility of a PTSD diagnosis for Him in the full blog post on my web site. As far as exploiting my ownership of the relic, I currently think opening a shrine and collecting donations is the best way to go, although I appreciate the suggestion of Ebay. What kind of a tax deduction do you think the Museum of Bad Art would give me?

Comment by Napoleon Bonaparte on December 6, 2012 at 3:26pm: The Museum Of Bad Art exists in the U.S and might be interested in the piece. It was founded "to celebrate the labor of artists whose work would be displayed and appreciated in no other forum".

Bad art is like a genre in itself.

Comment by Pat on December 6, 2012 at 3:04pm: Combat Boot Jesus. I want one!!! But I'm not so sure about the look he's giving the dove. You live off MRE's long enough, some poultry with an orange glaze sounds mighty tasty!

Comment by Future on December 6, 2012 at 2:36pm: I bet we could get a good meme going with that picture. It's aching to be photoshopped.

Comment by Loren Miller on December 6, 2012 at 1:03pm: His right hand is empty / available for a reason. The detail of the pic isn't that great, but I'd swear that was an AR-16 or M4 carbine under his coat. Looks like the carpenter did one too many tours of Iraq or AFPAK...

Comment by Future on December 6, 2012 at 12:50pm: There's something about his face that is less Jesus, more aging folk rock musician. Still, if I found that in a 99 cent store, I'd buy it and have it up on eBay the same day. Someone will pay twenty bucks for that.

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