Now that Quran burning is killing people again, I think my thoughts on the original Quran Burner are worth revisiting. And for you Rick Santorum fans out there, I mentioned his advice to talk to plants today on my blog.

The Reverend Terry Jones has finally made good on his threat to burn a Quran, in spite of pleas from such eminences as Barack Obama and General David Petraus, who correctly predicted it would make their jobs tougher. 

The Reverend should not be confused with the other Terry Jones, the naked organist of Monty Python. If that Terry Jones wanted to burn a Quran, he would have dressed up in drag first and written a cheery song to be sung by a quartet of other dancing transvestites while the burning went on.

The Rev just "put the Quran on trial," (For what? Shoplifting?) found it guilty, and burned it. 

Immediately riots exploded in Afghanistan. Twenty dead already and the Taliban, who prefer to destroy ancient Buddhas with artillery shells when the desecrating mood falls upon them, blamed the US government for permitting Jones to incinerate the word of Allah, and burned an effigy of President Obama.

The question is here, why didn't they just burn a Bible and call it even? If the Taliban had been creative enough diplomatically to set the Christian scriptures ablaze, would Reverend Jones have felt it incumbent upon himself to start his own riot? And with whom? 

It is obvious that anybody can burn a Quran a day, if they feel like it. This writer does it quite frequently. Nothing brightens a hearth more quickly than someone else's cherished, sacred beliefs being lapped up by flames. The trick is not to make a big deal out of it. And you certainly don't have to limit yourself to Muslim combustibles. There's a Bible, Old Testament and New, kindling some driftwood under the chimney now. Sometimes just a few chapters of the Good Book are enough to set even the sturdiest log ablaze.

Nothing sweeter than the smoke that drifts upwards from a Book of Mormon aflame, unless it be the scent of a smoldering copy of Dianetics. A Torah can be burned any day but the Sabbath, and a copy of the Christian Science Monitor will serve as tinder for all but the densest scriptures.

In this world where both the Reverend Jones and the Taliban both claim to only follow His will and the Almighty himself apparently chooses only to speak to schizophrenics and professional athletes, it says here that the best bet is not to quibble about what no one knows for certain.

Pass the marshmallows.

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Comment by Guy on March 15, 2012 at 11:54am

Burn the person that is one of a kind and can never be replaced. Save the book that can be reprinted and be replaced a thousand times over.

As Atheists we have always known there was something wrong with this concept. Just one of the many reasons we are who we are.


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