Comment by Adrianne on November 23, 2010 at 6:24pm

I think you are on to something. I usually have to take alot of alcohol with me to survive this crowd....they are bad for your health.

Comment by Adrianne on November 24, 2010 at 2:15am

However, I am a person non the less and who really wants to be alone? I'm a glutton for punishment I guess.

Comment by Louis on November 24, 2010 at 3:02am

Fuck. If my spouse wanted me to break bread with people who think I'm below dirt, they can go on their own.

Comment by Louis on November 24, 2010 at 3:05am

damn it, corollary: Maybe they see him as family but for whatever sick twisted stupid god damned reason, they don't see you except as being attached to him. Honestly, don't go. Even if it's just for him, don't go. You don't need to be made to feel like shit on Thanksgiving. Maybe you could go with a friend? And maybe eating by yourself is at least slightly better than eating with people with daggers in their eyes.

Comment by Adrianne on November 24, 2010 at 3:20am

I had plans to just hang out with my mother but she is going to visit some other's in her family and the last time I was around them I wound up stabbing an aunt by marriage with a fork and then hit a few others on my way out of the door. So needless to say I will never go there again nor am I welcome there anyway.

My husband really wants to go hunting but he works like a dog so he rarely gets a chance to.................if we go no where and do nothing then I will make a feast and he will probably go to work afterwards to get the time and a half pay for working holiday.

All I ever wanted was to be welcome and loved and have a family......................I'm old enough now and used to it enough to know it will never happen...but I do love my husband and would like for him to be able to go and do something for himself................

it's a huge mess...............guh!

Comment by Louis on November 24, 2010 at 3:34am

Then he can go on his own! Can you imagine asking him to go somewhere where everyone hates him just because everyone likes you? Would he do it? Would you even ask? Does he know how they feel about you?

If you do go, go with the grace of god, and you're a much bigger person than I am. I guess you have to gauge for yourself how much you think it's worth it. I can almost guarantee you're going to be miserable but he'll probably have a pretty decent time.

Maybe I'm projecting too much, but I just can't see a situation where you come out feeling better for having gone. Either you go and isolate yourself and they talk behind your back, or you go and they talk in front of you as though they were talking behind your back. Maybe they'll stop being assholes but if there's one thing I've learned it's that the older you get the harder it is to stop being an asshole towards someone.

Comment by Adrianne on November 24, 2010 at 4:13am

He hasn't asked to go......he just knows its that time of year. I offered to go with him because he has wanted to go hunting but he works instead. He spends so much time working I wanted to give him something he really wanted to do.

He knows all too well how everyone treats me. That's why he never wants to be around them.

In reality I am probably just going to stay home and make a meal for the husband

Comment by Fall on November 26, 2010 at 6:11am

I hope you went for the turkey and to prove a wonderful point to yourself and I think to them to actually, I really do believe that many religious people actually do know how ridiculous it all is deep inside but are too scared to let go of their beliefs....or they are so brainwashed, pitiful really.
If you go you will see how totally how hypocritical and ridiculous they are (again) and how twisted their sense of morality is and hopefully feel somewhat "cleansed" in the knowledge of how kind and considerate YOU are making an effort again.
Proving that your morality is inherent and not a gift from a made up god..You are the better person,you are the smart one.No time for hate.

Comment by New Atheist on November 26, 2010 at 9:04am

Wow, I'm sorry that your family has been treating you so terribly :-( There is no excuse for that.

If I were in your situation, I would celebrate the holidays with friends or a community. Where I live, there are gatherings for people who either do not have families, or who are not on speaking terms with their families.


I would surround myself with people who know that I am a good person, and can reinforce that for me. I hope your good friends would understand this situation with your family, and would be glad to have you and your spouse over to share the holidays with them.

Comment by Adrianne on November 26, 2010 at 10:50pm

@ Fall I chose to not involve myself with any of them. If they want nothing to do with me then I am not going to have anything to do with them. I chose to leave it all behond because I agree there is no time for hate and I have spent too much time trying to explain my views and feelings. If it does not fit their views of who I should be or "what" I should be they will not hear it. In response, they say they worry about my "mental stability" or if I am using drugs or if I have turned into an alchoholic and I have a temper and after so much it DOES come out so I have just made the choice to have nothing to do with them anymore.


@ New Atheist My husbands family treats me more like a family, and although they all believe in a god, they do not follow the faith devoutly and they believe to each their own and that being an atheist does not make you less of a person. So I am lucky in that sense. I have been trying to make some friends of the same beliefs but that is extremely hard here. I live in a college town but it is a very strict Southern Babtist town. It's like trying to pull a steak away from a lock jawed pit bull. Chances are I will leave with some appendages missing so to speak. LOL

I really am thankful to have people who understand where I come from and will take the time to show a little support. I am a new atheist after years of christianity and doubt, and I just wish others would realize it doesn't mean that I am not a person.

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