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I might have made a blog about this ages ago, but then again I haven't been here in a while so Im just refreshing this idea of mine as it's come up again.

First off, I am not generalizing or discriminating against women in any way. My assumptions are soely based off of the women I've known personaly. If it seems offenseive, then I'm probably just speaking out of hate, so in advance, I'd like to apologize to anyone who will find what Im going to say offencive.

That being said, let's begin.

I'm a nice guy. I'm not just saying that I actually believe it. I put other's interests ahead of my own, I always make sure something's fair. I always try and cheer someone up when they're feeling down. I'd say I'm average looking, and a very respectful person. If this world made sense, nice guys like me would be able to find a woman with no problem, since women tend to claim that they want a man who respects her as a human being and not an object. Unfortunately this world never makes sense.

I've just got one question, why do women love jerks? I mean, you're with a guy, and he's a total ass and you break up with him and complain to your best guy friend who's a real nice and understanding guy. Sure he's made a few moves on you but you only like him as a friend, or a brother. He listens to your problems and offers whatever help he can when you're in a jam. He's always been your little buddy. So you go ahead and complain about how much of a jerk that guy was for cheating on you/hitting/verbally abusing or whatever he did, and he tells you that you don't need him. You're better than that and you'll find the right guy for you in the long run. You say thanks and are off on your way. One week later, what do you know? You're with another D bag and the cycle continues.

I don't get it. I mean, why would you say you want a guy who respects you when you're... not with a guy who respects you? I mean sure you can argue that nice guys are "boring" and they probably put you up on a pedistal and worship you to the point where you're just another "mother" in their eyes, but then again that person could be different. I may be a nice guy, but I have self respect. You punch me in the face and I'm punching back without question, but that doesn't mean that I'm suddenly above and rude to everyone. I've been raised on the idea that if you respect the woman you love, she'll love you too. My dad wasn't around either. In the words of Tylder Durden, I'm a generation of men raised by women. If you took one look at me, you'd think I'm a total wuss. But that's just it. I'm not a wuss, and women just don't seem to give me that second glance. Is there something wrong with being nice? Since when did society make looking out for other people viewed upon as a bad thing? Seems like it's been like that forever. What's the point of nice guys being nice if it gets them nowhere? Should I just put on sunglasses and a leather jacket and beat the living crap out of the next attractive woman I see? What exactly is it that women look for in a guy? I mean really because if I hear "A nice guy who respects me" one more time then I'm leaving this planet for good.

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Comment by Karen Loethen on November 28, 2010 at 1:54pm
Tyler, ProgRockGirl said it all when she said:

sometimes the "nice guys" who complain about getting overlooked, they might be looking at the wrong women. They might even be doing the same thing they're complaining about, by coveting a woman who is beautiful but psycho, and lamenting that she keeps going back to other psychos that treat her bad, and maybe there is a woman out there who is slightly less beautiful, but is more sane.

YOU need to change what YOU are doing. She will mature at her own rate. You can't change it, speed it up, or give her the light bulb moment. But you can do those things for yourself.
Don't waste your time, at this point, figuring

out why you are trying to "get" the girls who behave this way. Instead, look around you. There are other girls/women out there who are probably looking at you and wondering "why is he waiting for a nut case like HER?" Change your part in the equation and the outcome will change too. 100% of the time.
Comment by Adrianne on November 25, 2010 at 3:24am
In my experience most men want the kind of woman that would never do him right and the women are attracted to the jerks because 9 times out 10 the women have never been with a decent man. My husband is a giant fuking ass who is totally out of his fucking mind and can be a little bitch, but I love him because he has shown me honest love.

But I had dated all assholes since the age of 13, my father was a drunk and violent piece of abusive shit and I guess I formed some issues with that.
Comment by Prog Rock Girl on November 23, 2010 at 4:53pm
Now I don't know you, so I'm not saying this is you necessarily, but I think sometimes the "nice guys" who complain about getting overlooked, they might be looking at the wrong women. They might even be doing the same thing they're complaining about, by coveting a woman who is beautiful but psycho, and lamenting that she keeps going back to other psychos that treat her bad, and maybe there is a woman out there who is slightly less beautiful, but is more sane.

I was once the less-glamorous sidekick of a beautiful borderline personality. I saw lots of "nice guys" pine away after her while wanting nothing to do with me, basically making it very obvious that they only were so sensitive and caring when the woman was beautiful. They most likely didn't realize what they were doing.

I do also know some genuinely nice guys like my brother, who says he doesn't care if the girl is smoking hot; he just wants a relationship with a relatively intelligent and sane person.

Reverse psychology and wanting something you can't have is unfortunately part of human nature. Some women also say that "bad boys" are more ballsy, more interesting, whatever. A person can have those characteristics without treating women badly, though. I know some guys who are very loud, entertaining and in-your-face, and some who make dumb mistakes due to overconfidence, but both of them are very respectful of women. There are lots of women who have no interest in a guy who treats them like shit, too. I live next to a bar. I see lots of drunk, obnoxious men disrespecting women I can't stand them.
Comment by feralboy12 on November 23, 2010 at 3:51pm
Speaking from experience, the worst thing you can do is feeling sorry for yourself. Self-pity is not an attractive trait and can result in a spiraling feedback loop, feeding on itself.
Focusing on and fixing other things in your life is a good way to gain some confidence in yourself, which is an attractive trait. Or so I'm told.
Comment by Greg on November 22, 2010 at 6:57pm
When reading the description of yourself, I almost wondered if I had written it myself! Something I've come to experience is that nice guys seem to take over in college, so don't get down on yourself. Women learn quickly that the "bad boys" in high school are dumb and "being cool" doesn't make a person successful (ie. worth going out with).

Something I've learned in retrospect is that High School is what you make of it. Be confident and ask for what you want! If this girl would rather stay friends, so be it! Do you know how many shy girls probably think of you the same way? They think, why does he like that girl when I'm nice and pretty and RATIONAL!?

If you're truly and atheist, you'll realize this is the one shot you get. Make the most out of it and don't sit around waiting for this girl to realize how stupid she's acting! Be impulsive and go be happy. There is no point feeling sorry for yourself.

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