Darrel Ray's Blog (244)

Sex, Death and the Meaning Of Life

Dr. Dawkins' new documentary, Sex, Death and the Meaning of Life is now out and available on YouTube. It features my research and material from my book Sex and God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality. As usual, for Dawkins, it is well done and thought provoking. Two of the three episodes are now out.…

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Added by Darrel Ray on October 26, 2012 at 8:37am — 3 Comments

Sexual Shame in Our Politics

Read my post on Sexual Shame in our Politics at JT Eberhard's blog, based on my talk at the Texas Freethought Convention. Also, take a look at the new Richard Dawkins documentary, Sex, Death and the Meaning of Life on Youtube. The first episode deals with my research on guilt, sex and…

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Added by Darrel Ray on October 24, 2012 at 4:13pm — 1 Comment

Humanists of Florida

Off to speak at the Humanist of Florida con tomorrow. It will be fun to see Shelley Segal again as well as Hemant Mehta and Jerry DeWitt among many others. Hope to see some of my FL friends there.

Added by Darrel Ray on September 25, 2012 at 12:38pm — 1 Comment

Til Death Do Us Part

Till Death Do Us Part, Forced Celibacy in Religious Marriage.



Traditional wedding vows contain these ominous words, they also promise to be faithful. What the vows don't address is "what happens when one partner doesn't want sex any more?" 20 years ago the wife of a very religious friend of mine told him, I am finished with sex. They had four children and she had lost all interest in sex. She went on to tell him that, if she ever caught him having an affair, she would divorce him.…

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Added by Darrel Ray on September 20, 2012 at 12:09pm — 2 Comments

Salt Lake City and Dr. Dicks Sex Advice

If you are in the Salt Lake City area I hope to see you at the free Sextravaganza at the Univ. of Utah this Saturday. Also, my second interview with …

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Added by Darrel Ray on September 12, 2012 at 10:19am — No Comments

Dr. Dick's Sex Advice Podcast

My podcast on Dr. Dicks Sex Advice Podcast, #345 is the first of two interviews with Dr. Dick. This is probably the most unique interview I have done on sex. Dr. Dick was himself a Catholic Priest for 20 years, which makes for interesting conversation. Off to speak this weekend at Northern Iowa University, University of Nebraska Omaha and St. Joe Freethinkers.…

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Added by Darrel Ray on September 5, 2012 at 11:40am — No Comments

Review of Sex and God

A great review just came in from Humanist Ireland on Sex and God.

Review of Sex and god

Added by Darrel Ray on August 11, 2012 at 11:10pm — No Comments

I need your feedback

If you have read Sex and God. Go to this link:

Sex and God

Added by Darrel Ray on August 11, 2012 at 9:48pm — 1 Comment

F...ing, sex crazed minister

How is this for sex education from the pulpit? John Loftus, over at Debunking Christianity has found a video that is stunning in its demonstration of Christian sexuality. Warning, this guy is probably fucking crazy, but thousands of people listened to him every Sunday (until he was caught bonking a 17 yr. old girl). It pretty well proves my contention that religious sex is distorted and a lot different than secular sex. See what you think, and leave a comment here or on John's…

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Added by Darrel Ray on August 8, 2012 at 8:58am — 9 Comments

Some of the commenters to this blog have asked, "How is jealousy related to religion?" I can't totally answer this question in a short blog entry, but the connection is deep and strong. Jealousy is t…

Some of the commenters to this blog have asked, "How is jealousy related to religion?" I can't totally answer this question in a short blog entry, but the connection is deep and strong. Jealousy is taught and encouraged by all the patriarchal religions. Whether Hindu or Christian, Muslim, Buddhist or Mormon, all claim the woman is subordinate to the man and that the man is responsible for mate guarding his female(s). It is fundamentally based on the notion of ownership and possession. The…

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Added by Darrel Ray on August 2, 2012 at 2:36pm — 4 Comments

Jealousy

Jealousy deconstructed. As Dr. Hall mentioned in his review of Sex and God, jealousy is an important concept to understand. While we tend to think of jealousy as a single idea, it actually has many component parts. Once the parts are taken apart and examined, it becomes clear that jealousy is a cultural construct that can change and even disappear depending on how it is constructed. The myth is that jealousy is natural. That it is innate. That we are born with…

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Added by Darrel Ray on July 30, 2012 at 11:06am — No Comments

Journal of Human Sexuality Review

Reviewed and enjoyed by David S. Hall, Ph.D., publisher for Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality



As this Journal’s publisher, I receive many books and films to review. I tend to shy away from books and films about religion except in my role as an educator. I need to expose my students to the wider view of sexuality held by the world’s religions. When this book arrived from Dr. Ray, author of The God Virus, I took it on as a learning project. I am very glad I did.…

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Added by Darrel Ray on July 27, 2012 at 12:02pm — No Comments

Defensiveness, your greatest enemy

Defensiveness is the enemy of learning and change. How many times have you tried to give someone important information about their performance, presentation, appearance, behavior only to have them respond defensively and even get angry and attack you? How did their response make you feel? Did you find yourself avoiding them or hesitant to tell them other things?



Turn that around. How many times has someone tried to tell you…
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Added by Darrel Ray on July 24, 2012 at 11:05am — 8 Comments

Satiation, the thing no one wants to talk about.

Satiation, the thing no one wants to talk about. Relationships become satiated, that is to say, we get used to each other and that means it is harder to stimulate your partner or respond to a partner. It is a natural thing, just as eating steak for every meal would get boring. Successful partners can learn to keep their relationship fresh but there is no template for doing it. Each relationship must find its own way.



The biggest roadblock to…

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Added by Darrel Ray on July 17, 2012 at 12:21pm — No Comments

SocioSexual Orientation

In my talk to the Bay Area Atheists, I discussed the evidence for our socio-sexual orientation. A concept I discuss in Sex and God. When I introduced the concept to the group and asked, "How many of your are familiar with this idea?" not one hand raised. This is NOT to be confused with Sexual Orientation. The research on this concept has been around for 20 years, yet no one in the sex education or even the sex positive community seems to know about it. Take a…

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Added by Darrel Ray on July 12, 2012 at 10:19pm — 8 Comments

Reno and San Francisco

I am speaking at the National Mensa Convention in Reno, twice this weekend. If you are around, let me know. Also, speaking to the Bay Area Atheists on Sunday, July 8. …

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Added by Darrel Ray on July 3, 2012 at 4:07pm — No Comments

Marriage and the Culture Wars

We read a lot in the culture wars about marriage, like it is a concept that has been around forever and everyone knows what it is. That isn't quite true. Marriage as we know it today, is a fairly recent invention. As recently as 500 years ago, few people in Europe bothered to get married. Only the landed classes tended to formalize marriage. There are many cultures that have or had no concept of marriage. Others practiced very different forms of marriage (think Muslim and Original Mormons).…

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Added by Darrel Ray on June 24, 2012 at 3:49pm — 2 Comments

Mental Health for the secular

The Thinking Atheist: Mental health for the secular. Seth and I had a great talk on this important topic. Please pass this podcast on and re post this. LISTEN to the email Seth reads right after the interview, it will bring tears to your eyes. The Thinking Atheist

Added by Darrel Ray on June 20, 2012 at 12:47pm — 1 Comment

The Jesus Trap

Have you ever known a person who was pretty level headed and not particularly religious, then one day they fall in love with a religious person and become a fanatic themselves? This is what I call "The Jesus Trap" in chap. 22. It is a powerful pattern, designed to convert people through the use of sex. Unfortunately, once hooked, the promises never materialize but the children do and a new generation is infected with a specific religion. Some evangelical religions actually teach dating…

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Added by Darrel Ray on June 17, 2012 at 1:27pm — No Comments

Relgion Controls Women -the genetics

Genetic evidence, religion is used to control women. Like we needed more evidence. The study's conclusion:

"In short, Strassmann and colleagues maintain that the ideological and tactical similarities between these world religions and the Dogon religion have arisen in response to the same biological pressures. Religious patriarchy is directly analogous to the mate-guarding tactics used by animals to ensure paternity."

 I would correct this slightly. It is not biological pressure,…

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Added by Darrel Ray on June 15, 2012 at 12:12pm — 6 Comments

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