Darrel Ray's Blog (238)

A great review just came in from Humanist Ireland on Sex and God.

Review of Sex and god

If you have read Sex and God. Go to this link:

Sex and God

How is this for sex education from the pulpit? John Loftus, over at Debunking Christianity has found a video that is stunning in its demonstration of Christian sexuality. Warning, this guy is probably fucking crazy, but thousands of people listened to him every Sunday (until he was caught bonking a 17 yr. old girl). It pretty well proves my contention that religious sex is distorted and a lot different than secular sex. See what you think, and leave a comment here or on John's…

Some of the commenters to this blog have asked, "How is jealousy related to religion?" I can't totally answer this question in a short blog entry, but the connection is deep and strong. Jealousy is taught and encouraged by all the patriarchal religions. Whether Hindu or Christian, Muslim, Buddhist or Mormon, all claim the woman is subordinate to the man and that the man is responsible for mate guarding his female(s). It is fundamentally based on the notion of ownership and possession. The…

Jealousy deconstructed. As Dr. Hall mentioned in his review of Sex and God, jealousy is an important concept to understand. While we tend to think of jealousy as a single idea, it actually has many component parts. Once the parts are taken apart and examined, it becomes clear that jealousy is a cultural construct that can change and even disappear depending on how it is constructed. The myth is that jealousy is natural. That it is innate. That we are born with…

Reviewed and enjoyed by David S. Hall, Ph.D., publisher for Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality

As this Journal’s publisher, I receive many books and films to review. I tend to shy away from books and films about religion except in my role as an educator. I need to expose my students to the wider view of sexuality held by the world’s religions. When this book arrived from Dr. Ray, author of The God Virus, I took it on as a learning project. I am very glad I did.…

Defensiveness is the enemy of learning and change. How many times have you tried to give someone important information about their performance, presentation, appearance, behavior only to have them respond defensively and even get angry and attack you? How did their response make you feel? Did you find yourself avoiding them or hesitant to tell them other things?



Turn that around. How many times has someone tried to tell you…

Satiation, the thing no one wants to talk about. Relationships become satiated, that is to say, we get used to each other and that means it is harder to stimulate your partner or respond to a partner. It is a natural thing, just as eating steak for every meal would get boring. Successful partners can learn to keep their relationship fresh but there is no template for doing it. Each relationship must find its own way.



The biggest roadblock to…

In my talk to the Bay Area Atheists, I discussed the evidence for our socio-sexual orientation. A concept I discuss in Sex and God. When I introduced the concept to the group and asked, "How many of your are familiar with this idea?" not one hand raised. This is NOT to be confused with Sexual Orientation. The research on this concept has been around for 20 years, yet no one in the sex education or even the sex positive community seems to know about it. Take a…

I am speaking at the National Mensa Convention in Reno, twice this weekend. If you are around, let me know. Also, speaking to the Bay Area Atheists on Sunday, July 8. …

We read a lot in the culture wars about marriage, like it is a concept that has been around forever and everyone knows what it is. That isn't quite true. Marriage as we know it today, is a fairly recent invention. As recently as 500 years ago, few people in Europe bothered to get married. Only the landed classes tended to formalize marriage. There are many cultures that have or had no concept of marriage. Others practiced very different forms of marriage (think Muslim and Original Mormons).…

The Thinking Atheist: Mental health for the secular. Seth and I had a great talk on this important topic. Please pass this podcast on and re post this. LISTEN to the email Seth reads right after the interview, it will bring tears to your eyes. The Thinking Atheist

Have you ever known a person who was pretty level headed and not particularly religious, then one day they fall in love with a religious person and become a fanatic themselves? This is what I call "The Jesus Trap" in chap. 22. It is a powerful pattern, designed to convert people through the use of sex. Unfortunately, once hooked, the promises never materialize but the children do and a new generation is infected with a specific religion. Some evangelical religions actually teach dating…

Genetic evidence, religion is used to control women. Like we needed more evidence. The study's conclusion:

"In short, Strassmann and colleagues maintain that the ideological and tactical similarities between these world religions and the Dogon religion have arisen in response to the same biological pressures. Religious patriarchy is directly analogous to the mate-guarding tactics used by animals to ensure paternity."

 I would correct this slightly. It is not biological pressure,…

• Last weekend I visited Hannibal, Mo. the home of Mark Twain. It was an enjoyable trip with a lot to do in that…

Marriage and children continued: Even if both of you are secular and agree to raise your children as such, you will find the culture - including in-laws, aunts and uncles, cousins, neighbors - tend to see parents who fail to infect their children with religion as negligent. Unfortunately, they think this gives them license to indoctrinate your children for you. If you were Catholic, they probably would not try to convert your children to be Baptist. If you…

Awesome weekend with the Secular Student Alliance board and staff. They are going to kick some serious ass this year. The growth in new groups is off the chart. We need to support them to make sure the growth gets properly supported. There is a very generous 250K match right now. You can double your money! If you are not a member or have not donated lately, please consider it now. They can only support their incredible growth with our help…

Praise the FSM: On Thursday, the first client connected with the first Therapist on the Secular Therapist Project and the therapist is within reasonable distance for the client. Yea, we are off and running. Secular Therapist Project

Announcing: Today we are live on the Secular Therapist Project. You can now register as a client and search for a therapist in your community. If you don't find one, you can still find many that will do distance counseling on the phone or by skype.  Please check it out and tell your friends. It you are looking for secular mental health services, this is the place to look. If you are a secular therapist, please register with us. Click here:…