Alan Perlman's Blog – September 2012 Archive (9)

Happy Blasphemy Day! (They’re just WORDS, idiots!)

 “Impiety, n. Your irreverence toward my deity.”

 Ambrose Bierce

 

“Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only sure defense.”

Mark Twain

 

Fuck Yahweh.

Fuck Shiva.

Fuck Mohammed.

Fuck Jesus

Fuck Zeus.

Fuck Allah.

Fuck Thor.

Fuck _____ (fill in the name of any deity, past or present).

 

There, that ought to do it.  I’m an equal…

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Added by Alan Perlman on September 30, 2012 at 3:30pm — 12 Comments

PS. on Football: Sanctity of the Game Desecrated but (Happily) Restored.

For weeks, the NFL was involved in a controversy as contentious as the Protestant Reformation: a salary dispute with and concomitant lockout of referees...and their replacement by lower-level officials who have already made countless blunders, failed to understand football's elaborate rules, and even counted an interception as a touchdown by the player who never caught the ball.

Their ineptitude has enraged the fans. In Baltimore, they united into a "fuck you" chant that the…

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Added by Alan Perlman on September 27, 2012 at 1:30pm — 2 Comments

Jewish Atheist Fasts on Yom Kippur! (and other High Holiday thoughts)

God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos: he will set them above their betters.”

H.L. Mencken

“If this is your God, he is not very impressive. He has many psychological problems; he’s so insecure. He demands worship every seven days. He goes out and creates faulty humans and then blames them for his own mistakes.…

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Added by Alan Perlman on September 26, 2012 at 3:00pm — 4 Comments

"I Can't Afford the Twitter."

“Remarks are not literature.”  (27 characters) Gertrude Stein, The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas, 1933

Percentage of Americans under 35 who say they text, tweet or check their Facebook pages right after sex: 36. Harper’s Index, Feb. 2010

It is not too surprising that Twitter-hating has grown as fast as Twitter itself.  I got over 450,000 hits for “I hate Twitter.”  A shot at…

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Added by Alan Perlman on September 22, 2012 at 1:30pm — No Comments

Happy New Year!

[Note: The following was written when I was an adherent of Humanistic Judaism.  I have since left the movement and revised the post, but the basic ideas still apply.]

 

“Soon silence will have passed into legend.  Man has turned his back on silence.  Day after day he invents machines and devices that increased noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation.  Tooting, howling, screeching, booming, crashing, whistling, grinding, and…

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Added by Alan Perlman on September 19, 2012 at 10:37pm — No Comments

Suggested Obama Speech Draft: Muslims Must Learn Tolerance

Good evening. Tonight I speak, as always, to my fellow Americans…but also to the entire Muslim world, from those who think theirs is a religion of peace…to the perpetrators of the ongoing insanity of blasphemy laws, jihads, and fatwas – all of you who call yourselves Muslims.

I want to talk to you about the recent resurgence of Muslim insanity.  Actually, most of Islam is insanity, but the same is true of all religions, and that’s beside the point.

Sometimes Muslims just go…

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Added by Alan Perlman on September 14, 2012 at 3:00pm — 23 Comments

PS. On Labor Day and Work: A Real-life Bartleby

"I called to him, rapidly stating what it was I wanted him to do—namely, to examine a small paper with me. Imagine my surprise, nay, my consternation, when without moving from his privacy, Bartleby in a singularly mild, firm voice, replied, ‘I would prefer not to.’

I sat awhile in perfect silence, rallying my stunned faculties. Immediately it occurred to me that my ears had deceived me, or Bartleby had entirely misunderstood my meaning. I repeated my request in the…

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Added by Alan Perlman on September 12, 2012 at 11:21am — 3 Comments

Three Things I (Think I) Know About 9/11

Of the many, many things there are to know about 9/11, here are three that I hang on to.  Other suggestions are welcome.  What is not fact about 9/11 is voluminous: the Jews did it, the government did it, they hate our freedoms, etc., etc.  But here are three (proposed) facts:

(1) The horror could have been prevented.  Every indication is that the government knew about Muslim men being trained to fly planes.  It is common knowledge…

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Added by Alan Perlman on September 10, 2012 at 10:00pm — 7 Comments

Battered Brains, Blithering Biden, and the Religion of Football (w/new Addendum)

“No child should predecease their parents.  I remember what it’s like (PAUSE).  It brings back (PAUSE)…It brings back memories…that call, out of the blue.”

Joe Biden

 

Why is football still legal?  It’s a serious question.  Why maintain, nay, lionize a pastime that wrecks bodies and minds? 

A century ago, Teddy Roosevelt, that manliest of…

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Added by Alan Perlman on September 8, 2012 at 10:30am — 60 Comments

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