That sounds a little like my story, except that I began studying for the ministry. It was the drive towards intellectual integrity that got me, too. It's a one way street, isn't it? Once you see how you have been duped you cannot go back unless you acquire some brain damage.
Fortunately the world gets better, not worse, as things settle down. Then you wonder how you could ever have thought that there would be a "hole" to fill if you lost your religious beliefs. What hole?