"I think settling is the ability to will yourself to see a future against the odds. There are no guarantees. Sometimes people are not able to continue a relationship by the nature of their circumstances."
"I think it is *essential* not to "settle" on the must-haves or the dealbreakers. Some are structural: if one person is set on a big family (something I will editorially note that none of us should be set on in an overpopulated world) and…"
"Personally, I think for me it would be an issue for me to settle on the deal breakers. I'm not a person to quibble on minor issues however if you don't have all three qualifications then there could be a problem in the future. Even if I…"
"There is not settling and then there is removing yourself from any chance of finding companionship through unrealistic levels of restriction. I have physical and mental likes and then I have some repulsion towards some physical or mental…"
"We have a "can-do", "I can have anything that I want" culture that enjoins people to optimize. Optimize your career choice, your investment strategy, your hairstyle, your choice of mate - everything. This culture says…"
"I think it depends on what one means by "chemistry." Usually, I think of people's desire for "chemistry" as a desire for magic--as a desire for something that they take to be entirely beyond their control. It hits, and…"
" Yes Again what do you mean by Settling. do you just to give up looking the the "Perfect" match and settle with close enough? or to settle down with life and have a family?
I'm interested in Chemistry. that…"
"I have come to see it this way.
I have three sets of "things" that I rate people on.
1 - Deal breakers - These are things I simply can't overlook or compromise on. It's not a big list but there are some critical things. Something…"
"Some people say accept a date from someone if they seem nice, you can learn to like someone. It could happen that way afterall I've been friends with people, who I've not initially been attracted to but fancied them after…"
"When I think of "chemistry" I think of the combination of it all- intellectual attraction, physical attraction, emotional attraction. And you are right, without those things, all it is is friendship."
"Depends what you mean by settling. There are obviously deal-breakers, like the big one Shannon mentioned. I have a couple, myself. Theism is obviously a no-no, as is smoking.
Exactly what do you mean by chemistry? When I…"
"Actually, part of why I am here in this group is because I refuse to settle. I am so turned off by the idea of dating theists that I really would rather stay single.
As for chemistry? If I am intellectually attracted to someone, then the chemistry…"
What are people's thought on settling? Are you interested only in finding someone you have chemistry with? Personally I want the chemistry because if I date someone and there's no chemistry I feel that I am being unfair to them (they could meet someone who finds them amazing).See More