"We have the most religious freedom of any country in the world, including the freedom not to believe."
-Bill Clinton

"Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet."
-Napoleon Bonaparte

God made me an atheist. Who are you to question his wisdom?

"Remember, there is a big difference between kneeling down and bending over."
-Frank Zappa

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
-Stephen Roberts

A society without religion is like a crazed psychopath without a loaded .45.

Two hands working do more than a thousand clasped in prayer.

Last time we mixed religion and government, people were burned at the stake.

"From the point of view of a tapeworm, man was created by God to serve the appetite of the tapeworm."
-Edward Abbey

Nothing in life is to be feared- It is only to be understood.

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, define yourself."
-Harvey Fierstein

God is love
Love is blind
Ray Charles is blind
Therefore, Ray Charles is God.

Why be born again when you can just grow up?

If you ask the wrong questions you get answers like "42" or "God".

Traveller: God has been mighty good to your fields, Mr. Farmer.
Farmer: You should have seen how he treated them when I wasn't around.

Archeologists near Mount Sinai have discovered what is believed to be a missing page from the Bible and it is believed to read "To my darling Candy. All characters portrayed within this book are ficticious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental."

Philosophy is questions that may never be answered.
Religion is answers that may never be questioned.

Fundamentalism means never having to say "I'm wrong."

On Ottawa the Christians put up an "abortion stills a beating heart" poster outside the local abortion clinic. Someone wrote over it. "A Christian with a gun stills a beating heart."

If God doesn't like the way I live, let him tell me, not you.

If the Bible is mistaken in telling us where we came from, how can we trust it to tell us where we're going?

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.

"Nothing is more humbling then to look with a strong magnifying glass at an insect so tiny that the naked eye sees only the barest speck and to discover that nevertheless it is sculpted and articulated and striped with the same care and imagination as a zebra. Apparently it does not occur to nature whether or not a creature is within our range of vision, and the suspicion arises that even the zebra was not designed for our benefit."
-Rudolf Arnheim

"It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them."
-Alfred Adler

"A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
-Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzche

"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself."
-Peter O'Toole

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.


"Among mammals, a virgin birth (parthogenesis) can only produce female offspring, for chromosomal reasons. Mesiah's are mammals. Therefore, Jesus was... on the other hand, among turkeys, the chromosomal situation is such that all products of virgin births are males. So if Jesus was a male, he might also have been...
-Frank Zindler