Church to me, felt/feels like a chore. I know the people there will act so holy in church and when they are back home, they go back to their greedy lives. I've always noticed how women would wear their best clothes to church like it was a fashion show. I actually started questioning the bible when I was 12 or 13. I asked my sunday school teacher if the bible was completely valid or reliable after being translated so many times. His answer, I can't remember exactly was 'Yes the translators don't mess up scripture'. And he left it at that and moved on.

At that age, I had no clue what agnostic or atheist was. I was never exposed to it until I was 14. I was in an art class with a guy who said 'fuck god'. But somehow, I wasn't very mad. I felt pity for him, because his father, a bishop had disowned him, because he no longer believed in god. I thought that was hypocritical of the father. A few people I've come across who have been disowned by their Christian parents, had been on my mind last November. I then went to google and searched for bible contradictions and low and behold www.evilbible.com was like the first result. I was thinking 'Hey, maybe this is a Satanism site or something,' but no, it told the plain truth about the bible and I could do nothing but check my bible and confirm its statements. I cried and prayed for a few days that God would reveal himself to me and everyone at the same time. I said something to this effect "If you do exist and you want me to know you exist, let all the world know. Heal everyone from their sicknesses at the same time and let everyone look for each other to talk about how you revealed yourself to them." And nothing.

I had actually forced myself to take a bible literature class last spring semester, and I felt like I needed to read the bible more, since I hadn't done so. I got a D in the class and didn't really know why, until now. The class pointed out lots of contradictions and obvious changes or different texts in books like Matthew, Luke.(the gospels). It was overwhelming. Somehow, I thought this would be a bible study class. It focused more on authorship, credibility, and facts, not faith. I hardly read the bible, but I read more than I would have, because of the final grade. Even after the class, I still believed in God and still went to church on campus (now i don't, but i do back home with my family)

The internet has truly helped me in my journey towards freethinking. I don't know what I would do without it. Check out www.meetup.com if you don't really know that many atheists and would like to meet some in your area. I just met 6 very nice atheists today just from that website.

btw Have you told your parents and family about your new outlook?