"Grace, I just read your post. So sorry, but tragedy has been hitting our family back to back. #21 since my son died 3 years ago. My best friend died 2 weeks ago, she fell down a flight of stairs.
I am so sorry you lost your dad. It sounds…"
"Oh my! Gail, I am heartbroken for you, that is allot of losses and allot of grief all at once. I am sure you feel like you don't get a chance to deal with one before you have another grief to strike you down when you already feel you can't…"
"Christina, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. I know it will get better for you, it doesn't seem like it now but sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better. Bad things happen to good people, its just how the world works.
I guess I would say that if not a God, what root or cause would the paranormal experiences which you believe you have had come from?
I'm firmly in the camp that death is the end of us all, with the implication that if our lives are all we have, we are such rare and precious things in the Universe that we owe it to ourselves to experience every moment, remember those we have lost and carry their memories on with us. As for where you fit, our attitudes and perspectives change over time so who can say exactly how your world view will develop over the coming years.
You are naturally going to fear the worst for your son and daughter, as I said below I felt something similar when I lost my brother and I think it is common for those of us who are bereaved to feel like this. I really hope you can get through this and that talking to people on AN will help in some small way.
I am sorry it has taken me a few days to pop by and try and offer you some comfort in your time of loss.
There is nothing I can say that will really have any meaning for you right now, other than to say you are amongst friends and you can rest assured that we here all have our heads firmly screwed on, rather than shoved up one anothers asses like 99.99% of the church going delusionals you are swamped by.
I lost my brother three years ago to cancer, and it took me probably 18 months to get over the feeling that everyone i loved was going to die on me and to start to open up again emotionally - its an awful experience and it must be 1000 times worse in your situation, but time is a great healer you can be sure of that, even if it does not seem like it now.
Any time you need to vent or just chat do it here and I am sure the community will try and keep you grounded and supported. I know I will :)