I saw your Disturbing Christianity discussion in Atheist News and noticed how insulting one of the responders was. Technically he is right that your discussion does not belong in News but he didn't have to be so rude. At any rate I am answering you here. I know exactly how you feel. Part of the purpose of Atheist Nexus is to give you a way to vent. Join some groups here that you like and talk to other people who think like you do. I think that might help.
I would hope you are right about widespread atheism. Certainly far more are atheist than admit it. The religionists have made a social thing out of it which entraps many.
Welcome to this splendid, international site and its thousands of bright people who recognise that religion is a fraud and gods are nothing but fictions inside the brains of the credulous. Do join Atheist Nexus groups and enjoy.
Terry Meaden (60+) originator of the busy discussion group
"ORIGINS: Universe, Life, Earth, Humankind, Fossils, Religion, Evolution, Darwin..." with its over 220 discussion topics.